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Sometimes your team is a team. More often they are a group of
individuals and each needs to be managed differently. Sometimes you may even
feel that they might be from different planets and run the gamut of skills
and commitment.
Disagreement among team members in relationships, and organizations
can often come with the territory! But every working environment has its
difficult people, however you can quickly learn to identify team members who
are likely to be difficult quickly and therefore develop strategies for
coping with them effectively. Key: Your Own Behavior
First of all, you may have to face the fact that the behaviors of
team members who are consistently difficult will not just go away. Wishing
that a person would change is a waste of time. How you react to that
person’s behavior is the important thing. Once you have a clear picture of
your own behavior, you can decide what changes in your tactics will gain
control over difficult encounters.
Lynne Gaines has suggested some grand tactics for handling immediate
challenges to the general peace and to your personal dignity: ·
Calm
down. ·
Lower
your voice. ·
Choose
your ground. ·
Guard
your perspective. ·
Never
cry.
While these measures will help you get through the initial assault,
you still need a wide range of strategies for dealing with them on a long
term basis. The following steps can help: ·
Assess
and categorize difficult team members. This not only puts them in useful
perspective but also helps establish emotional distance.
·
Validate
your assessment with other people. Can you identify some specific patterns
in their behavior? Would it work to speak directly and tactfully to them
about their behavior? What degree of risk would there be in doing so? Is
taking the risk actually worth the effort?
·
Plan
a strategy for each different category. Since blaming and hoping won’t
help, concentrate on solving the communicating and coping problems.
·
Practice
your strategy. Identify a confidant and practice, practice, practice. You
need to say the words aloud in a practice situation and even consider
role-playing.
·
Whenever
you see the difficult person, prepare yourself psychologically. In the final
analysis, you will have to choose. You can accept the difficult behavior,
change your response to the difficult person, or terminate the relationship.
[Lynne Gaines. “Managing Smart,” Executive
Female 1996; 4 (5): 13-15].
A Few Words on Difficult Team Members
Difficult team members usually know what they are doing and get satisfaction out of being difficult! They have a tendency and have made a habit out of treating many people that way, not just you. They probably have been acting this way since they were young. Often times we give
difficult team members permission to treat us badly which causes them to
continue their behavior. We don’t need to be in a position to let them
control us and a few of the power tools that are effective include:
·
Cool
down and avoid blaming or punishing others
·
Do
not react as you have in the past and make a priority to seek out strategies
to use
·
Focus
on the long term solutions, rather than all the problems presented
·
Involve
a mediator for an objective overview and intervention, if needed
Strategies in Dealing with Difficult Team Members
Herbert Kindler has suggested numerous strategies in dealing with
difficult team member’s that can be considered, as listed below: ·
Preserve the dignity and self-respect of team members.
Preserving and respecting the dignity if all team member’s is key
for future working relationships and success in the team. In a heated
discussion it is easy to say something demeaning. It is important to focus
on issues and not personalities. Until proven otherwise, assume the other
team member is expressing a legitimate concern when disagreeing. Even if
someone who disagrees with you appears stubborn or stupid, you won’t get
closer to resolving a dispute by putting him or her down ·
Listen with empathy to the team member.
When you listen to another team member’s view, you put yourself in
their shoes. You actually see from that person’s perspective and feel the
other person’s emotional state. If
your body language or tone communicate an uncaring or hostile attitude, you
may also respond defensively.
When you listen with a neutrality, it suspends critical judgment. When you listen to fully understand, you convey the message: “I respect you as a person. Your thoughts and feelings are important to me whether or not I agree with them.” ·
Don’t expect to change others’ behavioral style. Because stakes are usually
high, the reflex reaction to any disagreement or conflict is the desire to
change the other team member’s basic behavioral style. Changing your own
behavior is tough enough; it requires sensitive awareness, compelling
motivation and persistence. Changing behavioral traits of another is almost impossible in dealing with difficult team members. Behavior change when either person changes their customary pattern of relating. ·
Focus
on the issue. Keep the issue at the
forefront and don’t bring in other issues or data that are not important
to the discussion-taking place.
[Herbert
Kinder. Managing Disagreement
Constructively (Menlo Park, California: Crisp Publication, Inc., 1988),
3-5]. Motivation and Team Members
Motivation
increases the ability to maximize job satisfaction. A staff member’s who
enjoys his or her workplace can be energized rather than drained by the work
effort. It also leads to the value that particular job setting has and
decreases the inclination to leave it for other than serious career reasons. Motivation is essentially
the state of mind with which a person views a particular task or goal.
Because team leaders and team members often have difficulty directly
motivating other team members, creating a positive environment where team
members are made to feel part of the team should be valued and reinforced. William Franklin describes motivation as spontaneous, internal, uniquely
personal and often colored by a team members life experiences and lists the
following motivators and demotivators as responsible:
Motivators·
Recognition
and praise
·
Communication
·
Respect
·
Autonomy
·
Stimulation
·
Education
·
Freedom
·
Security
·
Accomplishment
·
Honesty
·
Enjoyment
Demotivators
·
Constant
criticism
·
Inappropriate
goals
·
Ignoring
team members and their contributions
·
Inferior
tools or materials
·
Inconsistency
·
Lack
of clear expectations
·
Lack
of feedback
·
Negative
feedback
[William Franklin, “Why You Can’t Motivate Everyone,” Supervisor
Management 1994, 25 (6); 25]. Dealing constructing with difficult team members, recognizing key features in your own behavior and providing a motivating environment has the potential for profound impact. Team member’s have the potential to open themselves up to making real contact with other members, unfinished agenda and business is finished and the team’s vision of what is possible expands.
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