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Historically, domestic violence has been framed and understood exclusively as a women’s issue. Domestic abuse affects women, but also has devastating consequences for other populations and societal institutions. Men also can be victims of abuse, children are affected by exposure to domestic violence, and formal institutions face enormous challenges responding to domestic violence in their communities. The effects of domestic violence on victims are more typically recognized, but perpetrators also are impacted by their abusive behavior as they stand to lose children, damage relationships, and face legal consequences. Domestic violence cuts across every segment of society and occurs in all age, racial, ethnic, socio-economic, sexual orientation, and religious groups. Domestic violence is a social, economic, and health concern that does not discriminate. As a result, communities across the country are developing strategies to stop the violence and provide safe solutions for victims of domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a “pattern of coercive and assaultive behaviors that include physical, sexual, verbal, and psychological attacks and economic coercion that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partner.” Domestic violence is not typically a singular event and is not limited to only physical aggression. Rather, it is the pervasive and methodical use of threats, intimidation, manipulation, and physical violence by someone who seeks power and control over their intimate partner. Abusers use a specific tactic or a combination of tactics to instill fear in and dominance over their partners. The strategies used by abusers are intended to establish a pattern of desired behaviors from their victims. Certain behaviors often are cited by the perpetrator as the reason or cause of the abusive behavior, therefore, abusive verbal and physical actions are often intended to alter or control that behavior.
Domestic violence measured by the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) includes rape or sexual assault, robbery, and aggravated and simple assault committed by a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. In 2000, about 1 in every 200 households acknowledged that someone in the household experienced some form of domestic violence. There is no statistically significant difference in this rate over the prior 6 years. As with other crimes measured using the NCVS, a household counted as experiencing domestic violence was counted only once, regardless of the number of times that a victim experienced violence and regardless of the number of victims in the household during the year. The following statistics represent reported cases.
| Characteristic of the household | Percent of households that experienced domestic violence |
|---|---|
| Caucasian | 0.4% |
| African-American | 0.5% |
| Hispanic | 0.5% |
| Other | 0.5% |
| Urban | 0.5% |
| Suburban | 0.4% |
| Rural | 0.4% |
| Northeast | 0.3% |
| Midwest | 0.7% |
| South | 0.4% |
| West | 0.5% |
| Household Size | |
|---|---|
| 1 person | 0.4% |
| 2 to 3 persons | 0.4% |
| 4 to 5 persons | 0.5% |
| 6 or more persons | 1.0% |
| Domestic Violence by Type of Crime and Gender in 2001 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Female | Male | Total | |
| Rape or sexual assault | 41,740 | 41,740 | |
| Robbery | 44,060 | 16,570 | 60,630 |
| Aggravated assault | 81,140 | 36,350 | 117,480 |
| Simple assault | 421,550 | 50,310 | 471,860 |
| Overall violent crime | 588,490 | 103,230 | 691,710 |
Domestic Violence Tactics
The types of domestic violence actions perpetrated by abusers include physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, and psychological tactics; threats and intimidation; economic coercion; and entitlement behaviors. Examples of each are provided below. Some of the behaviors identified in the following lists do not constitute abuse in and of themselves, but frequently are tactics used in a larger pattern of abusive and controlling behavior.
Physical Tactics
Threats and Intimidation
Economic Coercion
Entitlement Behaviors
Root Causes of Domestic Violence
Some people believe domestic violence occurs because the victim provokes the abuser to violent action, while others believe the abuser simply has a problem managing anger. In fact, the roots of domestic violence can be attributed to a variety of cultural, social, economic, and psychological factors. As a learned behavior, domestic violence is modeled by individuals, institutions, and society, which may influence the perspectives of children and adults regarding its acceptability. Abusive and violent behaviors can be learned through:
Domestic violence is reinforced by cultural values and beliefs that are repeatedly communicated through the media and other societal institutions that tolerate it. The perpetrator’s violence is further supported when peers, family members, or others in the community (e. g., coworkers, social service providers, police, or clergy) minimize or ignore the abuse and fail to provide consequences. As a result, the abuser learns that not only is the behavior justified, but also it is acceptable.
Psychopathology, substance abuse, poverty, cultural factors, anger, stress, and depression often are thought to cause domestic violence. While there is little empirical evidence that these factors are direct causes of domestic violence, research suggests that they can affect its severity, frequency, and the nature of the perpetrator’s abusive behavior. Although there is debate among researchers regarding a definitive theory to explain domestic violence, there is little disagreement that it is an insidious problem requiring a complex solution.
Many believe the historical inequality of women and gender socialization of females and males contribute to the root causes of domestic violence. Until the 1970’s, women who were raped or suffered violence in their homes had no formal place to go for help or support. Shelters and services for victims of domestic violence did not exist and there was little, if any, response from criminal or civil courts, law enforcement, hospitals, and social service agencies. Society and its formal institutions viewed domestic violence as a “private matter.” As awareness and recognition of this problem grew, groups of women organized an advocacy movement that focused on addressing the safety needs of victims and the systemic barriers and social attitudes that contributed to domestic violence. Volunteers established safe havens and crisis services for victims of domestic violence in their homes and held meetings where they began to define violence against women as a political issue. This grass roots effort, commonly referred to as the “Battered Women’s Movement,” revolutionized the responses to injustices against women into a social movement that forms the foundation of existing domestic violence advocacy and community-based programs throughout the country.
The need for safe alternatives for victims of domestic violence called for a major social transformation and the Battered Women’s Movement was an essential part of that struggle. Feminists, community activists, and survivors of rape and domestic violence responded with three primary goals: (1) securing shelter and support for victims and their children, (2) improving legal and criminal justice responses, and (3) changing the public consciousness about domestic violence.
Through a collective vision, the Battered Women’s Movement was guided by a set of inherent principles that continue to direct the current network of community-based domestic violence programs and advocacy efforts.
These principles include:
Today, community-based domestic violence programs throughout the country provide an array of services, including:
Domestic violence programs also engage in continuous advocacy efforts that include developing public awareness campaigns, collaborating with community service providers, and being active in political lobbying efforts aimed at improving safety for victims and their children. One of the benefits of the increased awareness of the problem garnered by these activities is the greater recognition that many sectors of society—beyond shelters, law enforcement, and the judicial system—have important roles to play in identifying and addressing this problem. These sectors include child welfare, health care, mental heath, substance abuse treatment, business, and faith communities. Along with the recognition that legal sanctions are not always the best response, there is a growing awareness that communities themselves must take responsibility for preventing and aiding victims of domestic violence by establishing programs and services that meet the needs of their citizens. One example is a community-based approach that involves combining the efforts of law enforcement, domestic violence victim advocates, social service providers, faith-based communities, and community members.
Society’s recognition that domestic violence is no longer a private matter, but a widespread social problem, is evidenced in the establishment of approximately 2,000 shelters and domestic violence programs, legislation in every State identifying domestic violence as a criminal act, legal rights to civil protection orders, and Federal legislation that provides funding and national recognition regarding its seriousness. Exhibits 1 and 2 outline Federal legislation that addresses domestic violence and child maltreatment and provides a legal framework and guidance for providing services and intervention.
Exhibit 1: Federal Domestic Violence Legislation
Exhibit 2: Federal Child Abuse and Neglect Legislation
For more information on other Federal legislation regarding child abuse and neglect, please see the foundation manual of this series, A Coordinated Response to Child Abuse and Neglect: The Foundation for Practice, at http://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov/profess/tools/usermanual.cfm.
This section describes some common characteristics of victims of domestic violence, dynamics of the victimization (e.g., common barriers to leaving an abusive relationship, protective strategies), and the impact that domestic violence has on the individual and on parenting behaviors.
Victims of domestic violence do not possess a set of universal characteristics or personality traits, but they do share the common experience of being abused by someone close to them. Anyone can become a victim of domestic violence. Victims of domestic violence can be women, men, adolescents, disabled persons, gays, or lesbians. They can be of any age and work in any profession. Normally, victims of domestic violence are not easily recognized because they are not usually covered in marks or bruises. If there are injuries, victims have often learned to conceal them to avoid detection, suspicion, and shame.
Unfortunately, an array of misconceptions about victims of domestic violence has led to harmful stereotypes and myths about who they are and the realities of their abuse. Consequently, victims of domestic violence often feel stigmatized and misunderstood by the people in their lives. These people may be well-intended family members and friends or persons trained to help them, such as social workers, police officers, or doctors. Below are some common myths about victims of domestic violence.
Myth #1 — Battering is rare.
Fact: Battering is extremely common. The FBI estimates that a woman is battered every 9 seconds in the United States. A 1993 study found that 1 out of 20 women had experienced domestic violence in the previous year, and 1 out of 5 women had experienced it in their adult lives.
Myth #2 — Domestic violence occurs only in poor, undereducated, dysfunctional, or minority families. It could never happen to anyone you know.
Fact: Domestic violence crosses all age, ethnic, socioeconomic, religious, and educational boundaries. There is no “typical” violent family. There are doctors, ministers, psychologists, police, attorneys, judges, and other professionals who beat their wives. At least one third of all married women have been physically abused by their husbands or ex-husbands.
Myth #3 — Battering is about couples getting into a brawl on Saturday night, pushing each other around, and totally disrupting the neighborhood.
Fact: While physical abuse is common, women are also abused emotionally, sexually, and psychologically. Domestic violence is not “mutual assault” or two people yelling, scratching, and pulling each other’s hair. It is one partner beating, intimidating, and terrorizing the other. It’s one person dominating and controlling the other.
Myth #4 — The problem is not simply woman abuse, but spouse abuse. Women are just as violent as men.
Fact: In approximately 95% of domestic assaults, the man is the perpetrator. Women are 13 times more likely to be the victim in cases of spousal abuse. Sixty percent of men who were killed by their wives were killed as they were assaulting or threatening to injure or kill the woman. This fact may make us uncomfortable.
To end domestic violence, we must examine the historic and legal permission men have been given to be violent in general, and to be violent towards their wives and children specifically. There are rare cases where a woman batters a man. Survivors of abuse in such relationships must hear that their abuse is just as valid and serious. Battering also occurs in lesbian and gay male relationships. Domestic violence throughout life is experienced as child abuse/neglect, dating violence, spouse abuse, elder abuse, and abuse of the disabled. The National Domestic Violence Hotline states that violence is unacceptable in all intimate relationships and provides services to any person who has been victimized.
Myth #5 — Where there is violence in the family, all family members are at fault to a certain extent, and therefore all must change for the violence to stop.
Fact: Only the perpetrator has the ability to stop the violence. Battering is an attitude and chosen behavior. Many battered women try to change their own behavior and the behavior of their children hoping that this will stop the abuse. This does not work. Changes in family members’ behavior will not cause or influence the batterer to be non-violent.
Myth #6 — Domestic violence is usually a one-time isolated incident where the abuser simply lost control.
Fact: Battering is a pattern, a reign of force and terror. Once violence begins in a relationship, it gets worse and more frequent over a period of time. Battering is not just one physical attack. It is a number of tactics (intimidation, threats, economic deprivation, psychological and sexual abuse) used repeatedly. Physical violence is just one of these tactics. Experts have compared methods used by batterers to those used by terrorists to brainwash hostages. This is called the “Stockholm Syndrome”.
Myth #7 — Battered women always stay in abusive relationships.
Fact: Many battered women leave their abusers permanently and, despite many obstacles, succeed in building a life free of violence. Almost all battered women leave at least once. The perpetrator dramatically escalates his violence when a woman leaves (or tries to), because it is necessary for him to reassert control and ownership. Battered women are often very active on their own behalf. Their efforts often fail because the batterer continues to assault, and society refuses to provide needed protection and resources.
Myth #8 — Feminist propaganda says the abuser is never punished, but the community does place responsibility for violence where it belongs — on the criminal.
Fact: Most people blame the victim of battering for the crime, some without realizing it. They expect the woman to stop the violence, and repeatedly analyze her motivations for not leaving, rather than scrutinizing why the batterer keeps beating her, and why the community allows it.
Myth #9 — Drinking causes battering.
Fact: One of the myths about abuse is that it is caused by alcohol, drugs, unemployment, or the stress of day-to-day living. Although these are often factors, they can more accurately be viewed as triggers, not as causes. Many men experiencing these issues do not batter, whereas a man who has violently attacked his wife may blame his actions on any number of incidents, even a trivial or invented one. A person who is potentially violent may drink in order to give himself an excuse for violent actions. Some men who batter when drinking later stop drinking but continue to batter, switching to some other excuse.
Myth #10 — Stress causes domestic violence.
Fact: Many people who are under extreme stress do not assault their partners. Assailants who are stressed at work do not attack their co-workers or bosses. Just as with drinking, abusers often use stress as an excuse for their violence.
Myth #11 — Men who batter do so because they cannot control themselves or because they have “poor impulse control”.
Fact: Men who batter are usually not violent toward anyone but their wives/partners or their children. They can control themselves sufficiently enough to pick a safe target. Men often beat women on parts of their bodies where bruises will not show. Many assaults are planned and can last for hours.
Myth #12 — If a battered woman really wanted to leave, she could just call the police.
Fact: Police traditionally have been reluctant to respond to domestic assaults, or to intervene in what they think is a private matter. They temporarily separate the couple, leaving the woman vulnerable to further violence. Laws have been improved, but considerable change is still needed in law enforcement and the court system.
Myth #13 — If a battered woman really wanted to leave, she could easily help get from her minister or other clergy.
Fact: Some priests, clergy, and rabbis have been extremely supportive of battered women. Others ignore the abuse, are unsupportive, or actively support the assailant’s control of his partner, basing their defense on a man’s religious right as head of the household.
Myth #14 — Batterers are often good fathers and should have joint custody of their children.
Fact: Nearly 90% of children who grow up in abusive homes witness their father assault their mother. Forty to sixty percent of batterers also abuse their children. Nearly 50% of abusive husbands batter their pregnant wives with blows to the pregnant abdomen, resulting miscarriage, premature delivery, or fetal injury.
Myth #15 — If a battered woman really wanted to leave, she could just pack up and go some place.
Fact: Battered women considering leaving their assailants are faced with the very real possibility of severe physical injury or even death. Batterers deliberately isolate their partners and deprive them of money, opportunities for acquiring education, job skills, or work. This combined with unequal opportunities for women in general and lack of affordable childcare, make it excruciatingly difficult for women to leave.
Source: www.life-span.org
Myth #16: Only poor, uneducated women are victims of domestic violence.
Fact: Victims of abuse can be found in all social and economic classes and can be of either sex. They can be wealthy, educated, and prominent as well as undereducated and financially destitute. Victims of domestic violence live in rural towns, urban cities, subsidized housing projects, and in gated communities. The overrepresentation of underprivileged women in domestic violence crime reports may be due to several factors, including the fact that those seeking public assistance or services are subject to data tracking trends that often capture this information. Victims of domestic violence who have higher incomes are more likely to seek help from private therapists or service providers who can protect their identity through confidentiality agreements.
Myth #17: Victims provoke and deserve the violence they experience.
Fact: An abusive tactic used by perpetrators is to accuse their partners of “making” them violent. This accusation is even more effective when the perpetrator and other people tell the victim that he or she deserved the abuse. As a result, many victims remain in the abusive relationship because they believe that the violence is their fault. Many victims make repeated attempts to change their behavior in order to avoid the next assault. Unfortunately, no one, including the victim, can change the behavior except for the perpetrator. The perpetrator is accountable for the behavior and responsible for ending the violence.
Myth #18: Victims of domestic violence move from one abusive relationship to another.
Fact: Although approximately one-third of victims of domestic violence experience more than one abusive relationship, most victims do not seek or have multiple abusive partners. Victims of domestic violence who have a childhood history of physical or sexual victimization may be at greater risk of being harmed by multiple partners.
Myth #19: Victims of domestic violence suffer from low self-esteem and psychological disorders.
Fact: Some people believe that victims of domestic violence are mentally ill or suffer from low self-esteem. Otherwise, it is thought, they would not endure the abuse. In fact, a majority of victims does not have mental disorders, but may suffer from the psychological effects of domestic violence, such as posttraumatic stress disorder or depression. Furthermore, there is little evidence that low self-esteem is a factor for initially becoming involved in an abusive relationship. In reality, some victims of domestic violence experience a decrease in self-esteem because their abusers are constantly degrading, humiliating, and criticizing them, which also makes them more vulnerable to staying in the relationship.
Myth #20: Victims of domestic violence are weak and always want help.
Fact: Some victims of domestic violence are passive while others are assertive. Some victims actively seek help, while others may refuse assistance. Again, victims are a diverse group of individuals who possess unique qualities and different life situations. Victims of domestic violence may not always want help and their reasons vary. They may not be prepared to leave the relationship, they may be scared their partners will harm them, or they may not trust people if past efforts to seek help have failed.
The most commonly asked question about victims of domestic violence is “Why do they stay?” Family, friends, coworkers, and community professionals who try to understand the reasons why a victim of domestic violence has not left the abusive partner often feel perplexed and frustrated. Some victims of domestic violence do leave their violent partners while others may leave and return at different points throughout the abusive relationship. Leaving a violent relationship is a process, not an event, for many victims, who cannot simply “pick up and go” because they have many factors to consider. To understand the complex nature of terminating a violent relationship, it is essential to look at the barriers and risks faced by victims when they consider or attempt to leave. Individual, systemic, and societal barriers faced by victims of domestic violence include:
Examples of culturally competent services include offering written translation of domestic violence materials, providing translators in domestic violence programs, and implementing intervention strategies that incorporate cultural values, norms, and practices to effectively address the needs of victims and abusers. The lack of culturally competent services that fail to incorporate issues of culture and language can present obstacles for victims who want to escape abuse and for effective interventions with domestic violence perpetrators. Well-intended family, friends, and community members also can create additional pressures for the victim to “make things work.”
As with anyone who has been traumatized, victims demonstrate a wide range of effects from domestic violence. The perpetrator’s abusive behavior can cause an array of health problems and physical injuries. Victims may require medical attention for immediate injuries, hospitalization for severe assaults, or chronic care for debilitating health problems resulting from the perpetrator’s physical attacks. The direct physical effects of domestic violence can range from minor scratches or bruises to fractured bones or sexually transmitted diseases resulting from forced sexual activity and other practices. The indirect physical effects of domestic violence can range from recurring headaches or stomachaches to severe health problems due to withheld medical attention or medications.
Many victims of abuse make frequent visits to their physicians for health problems and for domestic violence-related injuries. Unfortunately, research shows that many victims will not disclose the abuse unless they are directly asked or screened for domestic violence by the physician. It is imperative, therefore, that health care providers directly inquire about possible domestic violence so victims receive proper treatment for injuries or illnesses and are offered further assistance for addressing the abuse.
The impact of domestic violence on victims can result in acute and chronic mental health problems. Some victims, however, have histories of psychiatric illnesses that may be exacerbated by the abuse; others may develop psychological problems as a direct result of the abuse. Examples of emotional and behavioral effects of domestic violence include many common coping responses to trauma, such as:
Some of these effects also serve as coping mechanisms for victims. For example, some victims turn to alcohol to lessen the physical and emotional pain of the abuse. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms can serve as barriers for victims who want help or want to leave their abusive relationships. Psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, and counselors who provide screening, comprehensive assessment, and treatment for victims can serve as the catalyst that helps them address or escape the abuse.
Four psychological stages of the battered woman syndrome:
| DENIAL | The woman refuses to admit—even to herself—that she has been beaten or that there is a “problem” in her marriage. She may call each incident an “accident.” She offers excuses for her husband’s violence and each time firmly believes it will never happen again. |
| GUILT | She now acknowledges there is a problem, but considers herself responsible for it. She “deserves” to be beaten, she feels, because she has defects in her character and is not living up to her husband’s expectations. |
| ENLIGHTENMENT | The woman no longer assumes responsibility for her husband’s abusive treatment, recognizing that no one “deserves” to be beaten. She is still committed to her marriage, though, and stays with her husband, hoping they can work things out. |
| RESPONSIBILITY | Accepting the fact that her husband will not, or can not, stop his violent behavior, the battered woman decides she will no longer submit to it and starts a new life. |
Emerging research indicates that the harmful effects of domestic violence can negatively influence parenting behaviors. Parents who are suffering from abuse may experience higher stress levels which, in turn, can influence the nature of their relationship with and responses to their children. Victims who are preoccupied with avoiding physical attacks and coping with the violence confront additional challenges in their efforts to provide safety, support, and nurturance to their children. Unfortunately, some victims of domestic violence are emotionally or physically unavailable to their children due to injuries, emotional exhaustion, or depression.
Studies have found that victims of domestic violence are more likely to maltreat their children than those who are not abused by their partners. In some cases, victims who use physical force or inappropriate discipline techniques are trying to protect their children from potentially more severe forms of violence or discipline by the abuser. For example, a victim of domestic violence might slap the child when the abuser threatens harm if the child is not quiet. Seemingly, neglectful behaviors by the victim also may be a direct result of the domestic violence. This is illustrated when the abuser prevents the victim from taking the child to the doctor or to school because the adult victim’s injuries would reveal the abusiveness.
The majority of victims of domestic violence are not bad, ineffective, or abusive parents, but researchers note that domestic violence is one of a multitude of stressors that can negatively influence parenting. However, many victims, despite ongoing abuse, are supportive, nurturing parents who mediate the impact of their children’s exposure to domestic violence. Given the impact of violence on parenting behaviors, it is beneficial that victims receive services that alleviate their distress so they can support and benefit the children.
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Younger Women at Great Risk of Intimate Partner Violence Women age 16 to 24 are most vulnerable to intimate partner violence, according to a new report released by the U.S. Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS). Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-99 provides statistical information on the prevalence of domestic violence and the characteristics of victims of abuse. The report examines victims’ age and gender, finding that women are more likely to be victims of domestic violence than men, and women in their late teens and early twenties are more likely to experience abuse than women of other ages. “The report confirms that domestic violence and domestic homicide are primarily crimes against women, and that young women are at great risk for domestic violence,” said Family Violence Prevention Fund Executive Director Esta Soler. “As a nation, we need to allocate resources to stop teen dating violence and ensure that comprehensive services are available to every woman – regardless of age – who is abused. We need a commitment to educate girls about how to protect themselves from relationship violence and to teach boys that violence against girls and women is always wrong.” Intimate Partner Violence, written by Callie Marie Rennison, PhD, is based on the findings of the National Criminal Victimization Survey (NCVS) data collected by the BJS and homicide data collected by the FBI. The NCVS collects information about crimes that are both reported to the police and not reported, and provides information on the frequency, characteristics and consequences of criminal victimization. Intimate Partner Violence Intimate partner violence is widespread, and women are the victims of abuse more often than men are. In 1999, 671,110 women were the victims of domestic violence, according to Intimate Partner Violence. Eight-five percent of all victims of intimate partner violence were women, while 15 percent (120,100) were men. Intimate partner violence against women most often took the form of simple assault (66 percent), rape or sexual assault (14 percent), or aggravated assault (10 percent). Intimate Partner Violence notes that between 1993 and 1999, there was a nationwide decrease in crime. The rate of intimate violence against women also declined, but to a lesser extent, during the period. From 1993 to 1999, intimate partner violence against women decreased by 41 percent, from 1.1 million women in 1993 to 671,110 in 1999. |
The rates of intimate partner violence “differ greatly” depending on the age of the victim, according to the report. Women between the ages of 16 and 24 are nearly three times more vulnerable to intimate partner violence (excluding intimate partner homicide) than women in other age groups. In 1999, the overall rate of intimate partner violence against women was 5.8 victimizations per 1,000 women, but the rate was 15.6 per 1,000 women for those aged 16 to 24.
The higher rate of intimate partner violence exists regardless of young women’s marital status, notes Intimate Partner Violence. Women between the ages of 20 and 24 were victimized at a higher rate than older women, regardless of marital status. In general, the report adds, women who are separated experienced intimate partner violence at rates “significantly higher” than women in any other marital category. Separated women age 20 to 34 had the highest average rates of intimate partner violence of women in any age group.
The pattern of younger women being most vulnerable to victimization was consistent across racial lines as well, Intimate Partner Violence finds. The rate of intimate partner violence peaked for both white and African American women between the ages of 20 and 24. The rate of intimate partner violence for Hispanic women peaked between the ages of 16 and 34.
Male murder victims were “substantially less likely” than female victims to have been killed by an intimate partner, finds the report. Intimate partner homicide accounted for 32 percent of the murders of women in 1999 and approximately four percent of the murders of men. In 1999, 1,642 people were killed by intimates and three in four victims were women. Of the victims, 74 percent (1,218) were female and 26 percent (424) were male.
While women in their teens and early twenties have the highest rate of intimate partner violence, women between the ages of 35 and 49 are “the most vulnerable” to intimate partner homicide, according to the report. Between 1993 and 1999, intimate partner homicides made up 32 percent of the homicides of women between the ages of 20 and 24, compared with nearly 40 percent of the homicides of women between the ages of 35 and 49. In 1999, women in this age group were murdered by an intimate partner at rates greater than women in any other age group.
But the report notes that woman between the ages of 20 and 34 also had high rates of intimate partner homicide. Young women (age 12 to 15) and women over age 50 experienced the lowest homicide rates among females. However, in every age category, women are more likely than men to be murdered by an intimate partner.
Source: http://www.endabuse.org/newsflash November 2, 2001
Protective strategies that frequently are recommended by family, friends, and social services providers include contacting the police, obtaining a restraining order, or seeking refuge at a friend or relative’s home or at a domestic violence shelter. It is ordinarily assumed that these suggestions are successful at keeping victims and their children safe from violence. It is crucial to remember, however, that while these strategies can be effective for some victims of domestic violence, they can be unrealistic and even dangerous options for other victims. For example, obtaining a restraining order can be useful in deterring some perpetrators, but it can cause other perpetrators to become increasingly abusive and threatening. Since these recommendations are concrete and observable, they tend to reassure people that the victim of domestic violence is actively taking steps to address the abuse and to be safe, even if they create additional risks. Furthermore, these options only address the physical violence in a victim’s life. They do not address the economic or housing challenges the victim must overcome to survive, nor do they provide the emotional and psychological safety the victims need. Therefore, victims often weigh “perpetrator-generated” risks versus “life-generated” risks as they try to make decisions and find safety.
Typically, victims do not passively tolerate the violence in their lives. They often use very creative methods to avoid and deescalate their partner’s abusive behavior. Some of these are successful and others are not. Victims develop their own unique set of protective strategies based on their past experience of what is effective at keeping them emotionally and physically protected from their partner’s violence. In deciding which survival mechanism to use, victims engage in a methodical problem-solving process that involves analyzing: available and realistic safety options; the level of danger created by the abuser’s violence; and the prior effectiveness and consequences of previously used strategies. After careful consideration, victims of domestic violence decide whether to use, adapt, replace, or discard certain approaches given the risks they believe it will pose to them and their children. Examples of additional protective strategies victims use to survive and protect themselves include:
Although these protective strategies act as coping and survival mechanisms for victims, they are frequently misinterpreted by laypersons and professionals who view the victim’s behavior as uncooperative, ineffective, or neglectful. Because victims are very familiar with their partner’s pattern of behavior, they can help the caseworker in developing a safety plan that is effective for both the victim and the children, especially when exploring options not previously considered.
In situations where certain coping strategies have adverse affects, such as using drugs to numb the pain, it is crucial that service providers make available additional support and guidance that offer positive solutions to victims of domestic violence. A thoughtful understanding of the unique approaches used by victims of domestic violence to secure their safety will help community professionals and service providers respond more effectively to their needs.
This section presents common characteristics and behavioral tactics of perpetrators, indicators of dangerousness, and relevant parenting issues.
As is the case with victims of domestic violence, abusers can be anyone and come from every age, sex, socioeconomic, racial, ethnic, occupational, educational, and religious group. They can be teenagers, college professors, farmers, counselors, electricians, police officers, doctors, clergy, judges, and popular celebrities. Perpetrators are not always angry and hostile, but can be charming, agreeable, and kind. Abusers differ in patterns of abuse and levels of dangerousness. While there is not an agreed upon universal psychological profile, perpetrators do share a behavioral profile that is described as “an ongoing pattern of coercive control involving various forms of intimidation, and psychological and physical abuse.”
While many people think violent and abusive people are mentally ill, research shows that perpetrators do not share a set of personality characteristics or a psychiatric diagnosis that distinguishes them from people who are not abusive. There are some perpetrators who suffer from psychiatric problems, such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or psychopathology. Yet, most do not have psychiatric illnesses, and caution is advised in attributing mental illness as a root cause of domestic violence. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychological Association (DSM-IV) does not have a diagnostic category for perpetrators, but mental illness should be viewed as a factor that can influence the severity and nature of the abuse.
Examples of the most prevalent behavioral tactics by perpetrators include:
It is equally important to acknowledge that abusers also possess positive qualities. There are abusers who are remorseful, accept responsibility for their violence, and eventually stop their abusive behavior. Perpetrators are not necessarily “bad” people, but their abusive behavior is unacceptable. Some perpetrators have childhood histories where they were physically or sexually abused, neglected, or exposed to domestic abuse. Some suffer from substance abuse and mental health problems. All of these factors can influence their psychological functioning and contribute to the complexity and severity of the abusive behavior. Perpetrators need support and intervention to end their violent behavior and any additional problems that compound their abusive behavior. Through specialized interventions, community services, and sanctions, some abusers can change and become nonviolent.
Different levels of violence and types of abuse are perpetrated by domestic violence offenders. Some abusers rarely use physical violence, while others assault their partners daily. There are perpetrators who are only abusive towards family members and others who are violent toward a variety of people. There are abusers who are more likely to inflict serious injury or become homicidal. Some frequently degrade the victim, while some rarely, if ever, implement that particular tactic.
It is critical that professionals and community service providers who intervene in domestic violence cases engage in thorough and continuous assessment of the perpetrator’s level of dangerousness. Evaluating this dangerousness involves identifying risk indicators that reflect the capacity to continue perpetrating severe violence. Although domestic violence homicides or severe assaults cannot be predicted, there are several risk factors that help determine the likelihood that severe forms of violence may be imminent. The greater the number or the intensity of the following indicators, the more likely a severe or life-threatening attack will occur:
The above factors pose a substantial risk to victims of domestic violence and possibly to their children. It also is important to ask for the victim’s assessment of the abuser’s dangerousness. Extremely dangerous perpetrators can be safety threats to people who are involved in the victim’s life, individuals trying to help, or the children. It is crucial that community professionals who work with violent families incorporate these risk indicators into their assessments and interventions because failure to do so can seriously compromise the lives of everyone involved
Can perpetrators be supportive parents when they are abusive towards the other parent? An emerging issue facing victims of domestic violence and child advocacy groups is the role and impact that perpetrators have in their children’s lives. There are perpetrators who have positive interactions with their children, provide for their physical and financial needs, and are not abusive towards them. There also are perpetrators who neglect or physically harm their children. Although abusers vary tremendously in parenting styles, there are some behaviors common among perpetrators that can have harmful effects on children:
Children’s perception of the perpetrator’s violence can play a significant role in the nature of their relationship. Children often feel anxious, scared, and angry when they witness abuse. At the same time, many children also feel affection, loyalty, and love for the abuser. It is common for children to experience ambivalent feelings towards the abuser and this can be difficult for them to resolve.
Domestic violence can influence the children’s feelings toward the victim. Many children know the abuse is wrong and may even feel responsible for protecting the battered parent. Yet, they also experience confusion and resentment towards the victim for “putting up” with the abuse and are more likely to express their anger towards the victim rather than directly at the perpetrator.
Children need additional support as they struggle with their conflicting feelings towards the perpetrator. The responsibility of perpetrators as parents primarily focuses on preventing the recurrence of the violence. Some victims want their children to have a safe and positive relationship with the perpetrator, and some children crave that connection. Consequently, community service providers are confronted with the challenge of developing resources and strategies to help perpetrators become supportive and safe parents.
Examples of specific approaches that programs and service providers can use that will assist perpetrators in taking responsibility for the harm they pose to their children include:
A provocative issue for CPS caseworkers, service providers, and other community groups is determining the role abusers should have as parents or caretakers. Many voice legitimate concerns regarding the safety of the child victims.
There are special considerations and challenges in attempting to engage fathers who are abusive to their children or spouse in activities that promote healthy involvement with the family. Some groups, such as some of those in the fatherhood movement, address this issue by helping fathers to increase their responsible involvement in their children’s lives. Other groups, either through a prevention effort or an intervention treatment, seek to increase compassion, emotional awareness, and self-regulation skills in the belief that these skills remove the motivation for abusive behavior. Although juvenile court and protective order laws are designed to assign responsibility for child support and parental involvement, CPS caseworkers often face challenges in engaging fathers in the safety and care of their children. The difficulty with engaging some fathers in child protection efforts, however, stems from a cultural and gender bias of placing parenting responsibilities primarily on women. This is evidenced in child welfare systems where cases are tracked through the mother’s name and subsequent case planning efforts are focused on her to make significant changes. Unfortunately, involving fathers or male caretakers typically does not occur unless they are willing participants or easily accessible in the CPS process. Thus, fathers can become essentially “invisible” in CPS efforts and unaccountable for the well-being of their children. Unquestionably, balancing the protection of adult and child victims with the rights and responsibilities of perpetrators will require continuous dialogue and a movement towards collaboration. If communities are dedicated to ending domestic violence, they must strive to hear the voices of adults and children who suffer from abuse so that a collective agenda of building healthy, safe, and stable families can be accomplished.
Courtesy of National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information
This is a list of behaviors seen in people who beat their intimate partners. The last four signs are almost always seen only if the person is a batterer—if the person has several of the other behaviors (say three or more) there is a strong potential for physical violence. The more signs the person has, the more likely the person is a batterer. In some cases, a batterer may have only a couple of behaviors that the woman can recognize, but they are very exaggerated (e.g., extreme jealousy over ridiculous things). Initially the batterer will try to explain his behavior as signs of his love and concern, and a woman may be flattered at first; as time goes on, the behaviors become more severe in order to dominate the woman.
Jealousy: At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say that his jealousy is a sign of love; jealousy has nothing to do with love, it’s a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. He will question the woman about who she talks to, accuse her of flirting or be jealous of time she spends with family, friends or children. As the jealousy progresses, he may call her frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may refuse to let her work for fear she’ll meet someone else, or even check her car mileage or ask friends to watch her.
Controlling behavior: At first, the batterer will say this behavior is because he’s concerned for the woman’s safety, her need to use her time well, or her need to make good decisions. He will be angry if the woman is “late” coming back from the store or an appointment, he will question her closely about where she went, who she talked to. As this behavior worsens, he may not let the woman make personal decisions about the house, her clothing, going to church; he may keep all the money or even make her ask permission to leave the house or room.
Quick involvement: Many battered women dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were engaged or living together. He comes on like a whirl-wind claiming “love at first sight”, and he will tell the woman flattering things such as “you’re the only person I could ever talk to”, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone”. He needs someone desperately, and will pressure the woman to commit to him.
Unrealistic expectations: He is very dependent on the woman for all his needs; he expects her to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, friend. He will say things like “if you love me, I’m all you need— you’re all I need”. She is supposed to take care of everything for him emotionally and in the home.
Isolation: The man tries to cut the woman off from all resources. If she has men friends, she is a “whore;” if she has women friends, she is a lesbian; if she is close to her family, she is “tied to the apron strings.” He accuses people who are her supports of “causing trouble;” he may want to live in the country without a phone; he may not let her use the car, or he may try to keep her from working or going to school.
Blames others for his problems: If he is chronically unemployed, someone is always doing him wrong, or out to get him. He may make mistakes and then blame the woman for upsetting him and keeping him from concentrating or doing his job. He will tell the woman she is at fault for all that goes wrong.
Blames others for his feelings: He will tell the woman “you make me mad,” “you’re hurting me by not doing what I ask,” “I can’t help being angry.” He really makes the decisions about what he thinks and feels, but will use feelings to manipulate the woman.
Hypersensitivity: The man is easily insulted, he claims his feelings are hurt when he’s really very mad, or he takes the slightest setback as a personal attack. He will rant and rave about the injustice of things that have happened to him—things that are just part of living, like being asked to work overtime, getting a traffic ticket, being asked to help with chores, etc.
Cruelty to animals and children: This is a man who punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain or suffering; he may expect children to be capable of doing things far beyond their ability (whips a two-year old for wetting a diaper) or may tease children or young brothers/sisters until they cry (60 percent of the men who beat the woman they are with also beat their children). He may not want children to eat at the table or he may expect them to stay in their room all evening when he is at home.
“Playful” use of force during sex: This man may like to throw the woman down and hold her down during sex. He may want to act out fantasies during sex where the woman is helpless. He’s letting her know that the idea of “rape” excites him. He may show little concern about whether the woman wants to and use sulking or anger to manipulate her into compliance. He may start with the woman while she is sleeping, or demand sex when she is ill or tired.
Verbal abuse: In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, this can be seen by the man degrading the woman, cursing her, running down any of her accomplishments. The man will tell her that she’s stupid and unable to function without him. This may involve waking her up to verbally abuse her or not letting her go to sleep.
Rigid sex roles: The man expects a woman to serve him; he’ll say she must stay at home, that she must obey him in all things—even things that are criminal in nature. The abuser will see women as inferior to men, stupid, unable to be a whole person without a relationship.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Many women are confused by their abuser’s “sudden” changes in mood—they will describe that one minute he’s nice and the next minute he explodes, or one minute he’s happy and the next minute he’s sad. This does not indicate some mental problem or that he’s crazy. Explosiveness and mood swings are typical of men who beat their partners, and these behaviors are related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity. Explosiveness and mood swings are simply two of the control tactics used by batterers.
Past battering: The man may say he has hit women in the past, but they made him do it. The woman may hear from relatives or ex-spouses that the man is abusive. A batterer will beat any woman he is with; situational circumstances do not make a person an abuser.
Threat of violence: This would include any threat of physical force meant to control a woman. “I’ll slap your mouth off,” “I’ll kill you,” “I’ll break your neck.” Most men do not threaten their mates, but a batterer will try to excuse this behavior by saying “everybody talks like that”.
Breaking or striking objects: This behavior is used as a punishment (breaking loved possessions) but is mostly used to terrorize the woman into submission. The man may beat on tables with his fist, throw objects around or near the woman. Again, this is a very remarkable behavior; only very immature people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten them.
Any force during an argument: This may involve a man holding a woman down, physically restraining her from leaving the room, any pushing or shoving. The man may hold the woman against a wall and say “you’re going to listen to me”.
Source: New Mexico Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.nmcadv.org