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Recovery begins the second the substance abuser admits his life is out of control and drug abuse is interfering with relationships and his daily life. It is a slow process that requires complete abstinence the rest of his life. Awareness and understanding alone won't do it. It takes action...one day at a time.
The substance abuser has two options, survival or death. When he chooses survival he has chosen life. It must be a life with new beginnings and many changes.
The first change is to let go of denial and face reality. Old beliefs and attitudes have to go. When old habits are gone, there is room to create new habits.
During treatment, the substance abuser has been in a safe environment, and so reentry back into the old environment is a time of great peril. Much support is needed to keep his commitment and motivation focused on abstinence. Old routines need to be discarded or changed and new ones established.
Change old habits! Easier said than done. The recovering addict should be in a support group, preferably Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.
During the treatment program, the individual is required to abstain from all addicting substances such as sugar or coffee. This practice should be continued. His day is structured with a variety of activities. It is not in his best interests if he is allowed to read all day or be engrossed in one activity. This plays into his addictive nature.
If one of the old routines was to have an alcoholic drink the minute he entered the house after work, a new habit of putting on a pot of tea or getting a glass of milk has to be substituted. There should be no alcoholic beverages in the house. The same goes for other drugs.
When a shopping trip takes him down the street of his favorite bar, the driving route should be changed. Don't go near those slippery places.
When the gang goes to lunch and orders drinks, maybe it's time to get a new gang, to seek new friends and interests. He should abstain from those occasions where drugs will be available, especially in the transition period. It might not be necessary later on. Eventually he will be able to be around people who are drinking and not partake himself. But not for the first six months.
In recovery, the person can think about job satisfaction and what he does best. If he needs to work and has a job that is frustrating or boring, it is not the place for him. Because so much of a person's time is spent there, the workplace should be a rewarding place. A job counselor can be consulted to discover the individual's potentiality. I know a man who took the test the military gives to men on discharge. He was told that he would do fine as a locksmith. Thirty years later he owns three Lock Stores and has been very successful in this field. He followed the advice he was given and has made a comfortable living for himself and his family.
A person will be happy with a job that is challenging, interesting and suited to his nature. Sometimes it is not possible to change employment. This is when the individual has to change his attitude.
Ann: I work in a nursing home with elderly patients. I found myself getting impatient and very tired of the work. The patients sapped my energy. I needed the job, so something had to be done to change my attitude. I made up a little game where I'd try to find out something interesting about each patient. I asked one old man what did he do for a living when he was young. To my amazement, he perked up and went into a monologue I remembered as a child. It was the opening announcement of my favorite radio show. His voice was older, but the announcement was delivered with the same fervor. I was delighted. Afterward, whenever I greeted him I'd say, "How did that go?" and we'd both laugh. It changed my working day to see what I could discover about each patient. I began to see the young person inside each old face. I began to think about how they were once vibrant, vital people.
A change of attitude will work wonders. It will make a dull task an adventure. Now that the recovering addict is sober, there is no limit to what is possible for him. Sobriety can help him find work that matches his skills.
When a recovering addict is a retired person, he will have to change his whole day's agenda. If he spent a lot of time drinking with buddies, maybe this is the time to move on. Fill those hours...get a hobby, volunteer, take a trip, play bridge, study a language. This list is filled with possibilities for changing old routines.
Postcards from the Edge was a movie starring Meryl Streep and Shirley MacLaine and is the story of an addict who is in the recovering stage of her illness. She has just left a treatment center, and upon reentering life without pills or booze, she finds it isn't always pretty and the way she would like it. The movie ends with her finding out that her present life is much more worthwhile.
The leading character had to cope with life as it really was, not as she fantasized. The drugs hid the truth and masked reality.
The addict deals with reality through denial. To live a full life a person must face reality and come to grips with it. It is fun sometimes to dream, but the way things are should never go out of view. The recovering individual's day should be structured during this transition period as it was in the treatment program. Regularity helps when trying to establish new habits. Any increase of fear or stress is counter-productive. Stay among healthy normal people.
Healthy development involves care of one's self-image. A person needs a clear sense of who he is and what he values. Recovery is a time to reevaluate his value system. Separate the important from the nonimportant. Simplify life.
The dictionary says normal conforms to the rule; it is what is agreed upon and is the established type. Normal is what works in a given situation. Each person has his own manner of being normal and it varies from person to person.
Culture, environment and society play an important part in providing guidelines to normal behavior. Abnormal is the state of being unlike the usual. The substance abuser uses maladaptive behavior and discovers it is self-defeating. It is frequently behavior that is not socially acceptable.
Bobby: I wanted the approval of my family and friends, but I -went about it in the wrong way. I stole to give them gifts. The drugs corrupted my thinking. I am now in recovery and am working on getting my thinking straight.
The need to escape reality can come over anyone at any time. Instead of drugs, there are wholesome ways to escape. They can include an elaborate plan or a simple one. A simple escape is a walk through a flower-filled garden. An elaborate plan is a trip to a faraway port.
The recovering individual may become depressed as a result of all the changes to the body and because of grieving over the loss of old beliefs. He may become quiet and defensive. His main method of coping has been taken away from him, and he will be just as defensive about abstinence as he was about drugs.
Recovery is about living in the present and making intelligent choices. Body and mind are recovering simultaneously. A diet of fresh foods, dairy products, fish and poultry will assure a balanced diet. The continuation of vitamins and mineral supplements are a plus. Caffeine should be eliminated or at the very least limited. Because the person is not taking alcoholic beverages, he will crave sugar. A candy bar is better than resorting to alcohol, but common sense says to limit this also.
Thiamine, vitamin B1, is essential for proper functioning of the central nervous system, and lack of it can result in depression, fatigue, tension, confusion or nervous condition. Thiamine in large amounts can have a lifting effect on anyone who is tired or depressed, but on the other hand, it has a tranquilizing effect on a person who is excited. It has been proven to provide relief from the emotional and physical symptoms of alcoholism.
Natural sugars, such as found in fruits, are essential. Food should be eaten in whole forms as much as possible. The best raw food comes in the form of a salad. Meals should be eaten at the same time every day. It is helpful to have regularity in a recovering addict's life.
Walking is the best way to develop a safe and effective exercise program. A typical walking program should be performed at least three times a week. It can be started with ten minutes and gradually increased.
Swimming can be recreational and enhance physical conditioning and survival. It is considered the best of all exercise. You do not have to be a good swimmer or, for that matter, be able to swim at all. Just moving about on the feet and moving arms and legs will loosen muscles and joints and increase circulation to the extremities. With proper diet and an exercise program, the recovering addict is taking care of his body.
Debbie, a recovering substance abuser: When I was taking drugs, I slept in snatches. Sometimes I'd roam all night and catch a short nap during the day. I never knew if it was day or nighttime. At the treatment center I devised a ritual/or sleep. Just before bedtime I would take a warm bath. Afterwards, I'd massage my feet with oil and put on warm socks. I would like in bed with a glass of warm milk and a good book. I'd drift off to sleep in no time. I have continued this pleasant ritual at home and I have no difficulty falling asleep. I sleep the entire night and wake up so refreshed!
Rest is an important part of the recovery program. Developing natural ways to go to sleep is the key. "So may he rest, his faults lie gently on him!" (Shakespeare)
Meditation is also a way of getting deep relaxation. This can be done at odd moments during the day. Alternate rest and activity. Never get too tired or overstimulated.
Recovery has to be the most important thing to the substance abuser. He must cherish his recovery.
At this time in recovery, the person may have a fear of closeness and a problem with intimacy. If the person has a partner, it will help to discuss expectations in the relationship. Does he want someone to confide in him? Appreciate his accomplishments? Help him make important decisions?
The family of a recovering substance abuser should have a support program also. Al-Anon is such a program. They need the opportunity to be able to express their hurts and their expectations.
Sometimes a family is confused and insecure when a member is in treatment and recovery. Some members will be angry and resentful. Still others will feel guilty and wonder if the drinking problems were their fault. All these feelings are normal and cannot be ignored.
There will be a great deal of adjustment necessary when the substance abuser returns home after treatment. Each member of the family needs to explore his own feelings and emotional reactions to the substance abuser. Family roles and agreements no longer apply. The balance is changed. Power is one of the issues. If the substance abuser is the husband and the father, he will want to assume the role as head of the family. Because the wife may have assumed that role for years, this becomes an issue that needs to be addressed.
There may be loss of trust in the relationships. If there is an underlying problem which is not the direct result of the substance abuse, it will need to be explored and resolved.
Substance abusers who return to families where there is little conflict and much mutual support are less prone to return to substance abuse. Sometimes the culture of the family prohibits strong action being taken against the substance abuser. This is true if it is an older father or grandfather who owns the house in which the family lives.
Because family participation is stressed in the treatment program, there is a shared sense of accomplishment when the substance abuser is committed to the change. It is a cooperative effort. The family works their program and the addict works his. The result is a balance and an opportunity for all to grow.
When a substance abuser refuses to go to a treatment program, the family might have to learn to function in a manner that works for them without the assistance of the abuser. Individual counseling might be the answer when there are specific conflicts. In working their program, die family is learning life skills that can help in any relationship. They are also gaining insight into their co-dependent ways.
Recovery begins when the substance abuser admits that drug abuse is interfering with his relationships and his daily life.
The recovering addict needs to substitute new habits for old ones that may have encouraged the use of drugs. Regularity helps to establish new habits.
Denial and escape into drugs are the addict's way of dealing with reality.
In the transition period of recovery, an addict learns to create a new lifestyle, change behavior and gain a new self-image.
It is important for the recovering addict to practice abstinence and to practice a healthy lifestyle in diet and exercise.
Family members have a vital role to play in an addict's recovery. They need to examine their own feelings and emotional reactions to the substance abuser as well as to provide support for him.