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Many people equate stress management with techniques to reduce sympathetic arousal. People often sign up for stress management programs and classes thinking they will learn some of these techniques, such as muscle relaxation, meditation, and breathing exercises. They hope that by learning to relax they will become more easygoing and less stressed. But as you begin to analyze your individual stress patterns and explore the nature of stress, you'll understand that controlling your stress response is only a small part of the stress management picture. Learning to relax is not the most direct or effective way to cope with an inconsiderate neighbor, a difficult employer, homesickness, or trouble starting a project. This chapter begins with an over-view of coping strategies, then moves on to the coping strategy of choice: problem solving.

Did you notice a pattern in your coping responses when you kept a daily stress log? Although the way we cope with any particular stressor depends to some extent on the type of stressor we are confronting, some general patterns emerge over time. Coping strategies may be categorized in several ways (Amirkhan, 1990; Folkman et al., 1986). Here are a few of the most common strategies.

1. Problem solving. Problem solving might be considered the "fight" part of the fight-or- flight response and is probably the most frequently used coping style. It is also the topic of this chapter. When a problem arises, we look for solutions. If your car runs out of gas, you look for a way to get some. If the music is too loud next door, you ask the neighbor to turn it down. If your stress log coping responses tended to include phrases like "tried to solve the problem," "tried to plan a course of action," or "looked for possible solutions," you probably have a problem- solving coping style. (Amirkan, 1990; Folkman et al., 1986). Problem solving in which an optimal solution is carefully and creatively sought is almost always an adaptive process.

2. Confrontation. Some people act first, plan later, and use an aggressive, confrontational style of coping. Such a tack may get them their own way in the short run but create more stress down the road. If your stress log coping responses included phrases like "I refused to give in and fought for what I wanted," "got angry at person causing the problem," or "tried something I didn't think would work but at least that was better than doing nothing," your coping techniques may be confrontive (Amirkhan, 1990; Folkman et al., 1986). Some people mistake confrontive coping for problem solving because both directly address the stressor. The difference is that problem solving involves more planning and negotiation, and it generally has a more satisfactory outcome than confrontive coping. (Note: Carefully and deliberately delivered confrontive coping is appropriate in certain situations. We discuss this further in Chapter 8, Comminication Skills.)

3. Avoidance. The "flight" option. Avoidance certainly has its time and place. Staying out of the way of a whining friend who dominates conversation might be the best option at times. But avoidance usually works only temporarily. Ignoring that paper due at the end of the week reduces sympathetic arousal, and you may enjoy the time you spend watching television, reading magazines, or sleeping instead of writing it. But what happens when the deadline finally arrives? (Is that why they call it a deadline?) Stress log phrases that indicate an avoidance coping strategy include statements such as the following: "avoided being with people," "tried to make myself feel better by eating, drinking, using drugs," and "ignored the problem" (Amirkhan, 1990; Folkman et al., 1986).

Avoidance should not be confused with assertively saying "no" to unnecessary requests, such as serving on a committee you don't have the time or interest for. Deciding to say no in certain situations is a very productive problem-solving and time management technique.

4. Seeking social support. Most people need human contact in times of stress. We turn to people for help in solving problems, and we turn to them for comfort. We tell friends about our problems and look for sympathy and understanding. We are relieved to talk to others who may have had a similar problem. Seeking social support in a constructive fashion combined with problem-solving strategies is associated with increased stress resistance. Indeed, seeking social support can enhance the effectiveness of problem solving (Winstead et al., 1992; Yang & Clum, 1994). Phrases in your stress log like "asked a friend for advice" and "talked to someone about the situation" indicate seeking social support as a coping strategy (Amirkhan, 1990; Folkman et al., 1986).

Seeking social support is not always an adaptive coping style, however. When our conversations with friends sound more like complaining than constructive problem solving, seeking social support may become counterproductive. Indeed, many people have stories of friends who become a source of stress with their constant complaints and problems. These friends tend to dominate the conversation, keep the focus on themselves and their troubles, and stop by unannounced-eventually becoming unwelcome.

Getting a friend's perspective can help you define a problem and find a solution.

6. Accepting responsibility. If the source of stress is something you feel you have caused, such as time pressure due to prior procrastination, you might cope by accepting responsibility. Once you have accepted responsibility for the stressor, you might resolve your feelings of stress by promising yourself you will not procrastinate next time, apologizing to others involved in the project.

Coping patterns are influenced by many different factors (Amirkhan, 1994; Blanchard-Fields et al., 1995; Fontana & Palfai, 1994; Lazarus & Folkman, 1984; Nakano, 1991); they have evolved over your lifetime as you received feedback from your attempts to cope with problems. Coping always involves many thoughts and actions, some aimed at solving problems and others used for alleviating emotional distress (Epstein & Meier, 1989; Folkman et al., 1986). You use different coping strategies for different stressors. and more than one strategy for a given situation. Self-observation, especially keeping a stress log, can help you identify general coping patterns and give you some sense of your own coping style. Review your stress logs and see which coping strategies you use most frequently. You may find the Coping Strategies Worksheet helpful; it is explained in the Stress and You box.

STRESS AND YOU

COPING STRATEGIES WORKSHEET

Look through your stress logs and categorize your coping strategies. List examples in these categories:

Problem solving:___________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Confrontive: _____________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Avoidance: ______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Seeking social support: _____________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Positive reappraisal: ________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Accepting responsibility: ____________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Other adaptive palliative techniques: ____________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Other: __________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

After you have reviewed the coping strategies you chose during the stress log period, answer the following questions:

How often did you chose problem solving over avoidance?
Which coping strategies were most effective? Least effective?
In which situations would you cope differently now?

There is no right or wrong coping method, only what works best for you in a given situation. However, problem solving is usually a good way to begin. Research in coping strategies has found that problem solving is the most frequently cited method for coping with stress (Matheny et al., 1986). In one study, 170 adult volunteers were asked how they coped with recent stressful situations (Folkman et al., 1986). These volunteers also evaluated their satisfaction with the situation outcome. Situation outcomes were judged satisfactory if the source of stress was resolved in a manner satisfactory to the volunteer or if his or her subjective feelings of stress were reduced. The two coping strategies consistently associated with satisfactory outcomes were problem solving and positive reappraisal. Other researchers have found similar results (Bhagat et al., 1991 MacNair & Elliott, 1992).

The ability to solve problems is a fundamental life skill. Feeling that one has a poor ability to solve problems has been associated with stress and depression (D'Zurrilla & Sheedy 1991; Elliott et al., 1991; Fonagy et al., 1994; Fremouw et al., 1993; Lakey 1988; Mraz & Runco, 1994; Nezu & Ronan, 1988; Quamma & Greenberg, 1994; Rich & Bonner, 1987; Wierzbicki, 1984); training in problem-solving techniques has been found to reduce depression and improve stress resistance, selfesteem, and life satisfaction (Blakemore et al., 1993; Cull, 1991; D'Zurrilla, 1990; Green & Ollendick, 1993; Heaney et al., 1993; Kirkham, 1993; Nezu et al, 1989; Nezu & D'Zurrilla, 1989.). The problem-solving process is especially useful when you have been stuck in a problematic situation for some time and your old habitual solutions are not working.

STRESS RESEARCH

Richard Lazarus: The Complex Nature of Stress

Since the 1960s, psychologist Richard Lazarus has led one of the most productive stress research teams. He and his colleagues have developed and tested comprehensive research models of stress and coping that strive to take into account the complexity of the human psyche. Lazarus entered the field of stress research critical of existing definitions of stress, such as that of Selye, which defined stress as a general physical response (see page 28). Lazarus also noted that research such as that of Holmes and Rahe (see page 67), which defined and measured stress in terms of stressors, is able to capture only a small part of the stress picture. He and his colleagues have tried to establish a more comprehensive definition of stress and to develop and refine the measurement of stress and coping skills.

Richard Lazarus and his colleagues have defined psychological stress as a result of a transaction between the person and the environment that is perceived by the person as taxing his or her resources (Lazarus, 1984). In this definition, environment includes all the elements in one's surroundings: other people, organizations, school and job responsibilities, and snarling dogs, to name a few. Lazarus's definition emphasizes the importance of our interpretation or appraisal of the stressor. A given event, such as attending a party, may or may not be perceived as stressful; it depends on your point of view. A person's interpretation of an event has more influence on his or her physiological response than does the actual event itself. The emotional response to a stressor is determined by the nature of the appraisal. The model of the stress cycle presented in this book is adapted from Lazarus's definition.

Lazarus and his collegues have also been interested in the coping process. Lazarus and Folkman have defined coping as "constantly changing cognitive and behavioral efforts to manage specific external and/or internal demands that are appraised as taxing or exceeding the resources of the person" (Folkman et al., 1986, p. 993) Cognition refers to thinking and includes mental processes such as thinking perception, problem solving, memory, and creativity. As we cope, we adjust our thinking and behavior to deal with the situation's stressful demands.

Many psychologists have supported Lazarus's models of stress and coping. The studies that look at physiological response and life events are certainly valuable, and recording blood pressure or total points on a Life Events Scale are generally easier to do than figuring out what people are thinking. However, many stress researchers agree that you can't ignore that difficult-to-describe "black box": the human brain.

Think about the stress cycle from the first chapter. Problem solving has a similar cycle. The problem is the stressor, and we cope by attempting to solve the problem. Thomas J. D'Zurrilla, one of the leading researchers in problem solving training, has defined problem solving as the "process by which a person attempts to identify, discover, or invent effective or adaptive coping responses for specific problematic situations encountered in everyday living. ..." (D'Zurrilla, 1990, p. 333). A problem is "a life situation that demands a response for effective and adaptive functioning but for which no effective or adaptive response is immediately apparent or available . . ." (D'Zurrilla 1990, p. 333). Sound like stress? Problems may be any size and involve any number of people. They may be personal, interpersonal, family conflicts, or larger community issues. A solution is "a coping response ... that is produced by the problem-solving process and is aimed at altering a problematic situation, and/or one's own emotional reactions to it, so that it is no longer perceived as a problem, while at the same time maximizing other positive consequences and minimizing negative consequences" (D'Zurrilla, 1990, p. 333)

Problem solving is stress management at its best. It encourages us to consider all components of our personal stress cycles as well as our values and goals, and invites us to take advantage of our personal strengths and resources (Feather, 1995). The problem-solving process is adaptable to an endless variety of problems and personalities. In a sense, stress management (and the rest of this book) is information designed to enlarge your problem-solving repertoire.

As we improve our ability to solve problems, our stress resistance increases in several ways. Defining and working through problems gives us a sense of control. Although problem solving does not mean we gain absolute control over a problem, it helps us exert what control we do have and choose our best options. Even if a problem is not completely solved, we still feel better for giving it our best shot. An important part of the problem-solving process is learning to evaluate problems in a way that is productive and furthers our search for solutions (Adams, 1986; Estrada et al., 1994; Jacoby, 1993; Kahn & Leon, 1994; Mumford et al., 1993; Tallman et al., 1993). As we improve our ability to evaluate problems, we become better able to view them as challenges rather than as obstacles and stressors. Recall the concept of hardiness from Chapter 4. Both a sense of control and the tendency to view stressors as challenges are components of a hardy, or stress- resistant personality (Kobasa et al., 1980).

The problem-solving process is really nothing new or mysterious. We do it every day! Basically, it consists of defining a problem and evaluating your alternatives to come up with the best solution. But perhaps the most important part of problem solving is the way in which you approach a problem. To illustrate this point, consider Jason, whose case study is presented on page 94.

1. Having a Tendency to Blame Yourself for the Problem. Blaming tends to block the problem-solving process. Accepting responsibility for stressors can lead to a productive outcome, whereas blaming yourself leads to low self-esteem and doubts about your abilities. This behavior creates stress, which makes it difficult to address problems effectively. The difference between accepting responsibility and blaming yourself is that blaming implies there is something wrong with you while accepting responsibility suggests there is something you can do to improve your ability to cope with a certain situation.

Jason believes that his feeling out of control is somehow his fault. This attitude is counterproductive. When you feel bad about yourself, you approach a problem from a position of weakness and helplessness. When something makes you feel bad, you want to ignore it. Jason's tendency to blame himself for his feelings of stress was one of the reasons he was uncomfortable addressing his uneasiness about the way his life was going.

STUDENT STRESS

JASON'S PROBLEMS

Jason is beginning his second year in college. Concerned about the cost of education and the size of his college loans, he is trying to complete his degree in three years, a decision that means he must carry a heavy course load. Because he hopes to go to law school, he feels pressured to get good grades and participate in student government and other activities. The only time he really lets go is at parties on the weekend, but his girlfriend complains that lately he drinks too much and is not much fun to talk to or be with. Jason feels like he is always rushing, overextended, and stressed, with no time to relax or even think. He is wondering how he'll make it through the year, let alone through law school. Recently, doubts about his career path have begun to surface, and although he pushes these doubts away, Jason is experiencing a general uneasiness about the way his life is going. He has enrolled in a stress management program that is discussing problem solving this week.

As Jason begins to define his problem, he realizes that he has a lot going on and that he is demanding a lot of himself He defines his problem as having too much to do in too little time. In his mind's eye he sees himself caught in a whirlpool, and he believes he can stay afloat only by swimming harder. "If I could only get more organized, maybe I would feel more in control," he thinks. When Jason is feeling overloaded, he studies. This makes him feel better temporarily. "At least I am addressing the problem," he thinks. His proposed solutions focus almost entirely on becoming more organized and studying more, since that is what he has always done. He comes up with a few new ideas for streamlining his life and once again feels temporarily more in control. The big questions of his frantic lifestyle and whether his career path is right for him remain unaddressed. They are too overwhelming, and at this point Jason doesn't see them as solvable. He feels that if he were only more organized, the big problem would go away. In Jason's mind, that problem should not be there. He is supposed to be self-assured and goal directed.

Obviously, Jason's "problem solving" will be effective only in the short run. The whirlpool remains, and as Jason continues to struggle in it, stress will take its toll on his physical and mental well-being.

2. Seeing Problems as Threatening. Perceiving problems as threatening makes you fearful. It's hard to be creative when you are afraid. All problems have some element of threat; that's what makes them problems. But stress-resistant people can also find elements of opportunity and challenge in problems.

One of the most common threats presented by problems is a threat to a person's self-esteem or self-concept. The idea of changing his style or direction was something he could not consider at this point because it threatened his self-concept. Jason's workaholic lifestyle gave him some security and stability.

Jason's strong need for control meant that he had to be "right," and couldn't loosen his grip on his schedule long enough to try something that might help. Getting organized and studying gave him immediate answers and activities that relieved feelings of stress that accompany uncertainty. People who need instant answers and solutions tend to avoid problems or jump on the first solution, which may not be the best solution. Some people try to get someone else to solve problems for them.

Summary. A negative problem orientation leads to negative emotions such as anger, fear, and confusion; these discourage you from dealing effectively with the problem. Avoidance or jumping quickly to a solution, usually the old habitual response that has not been very effective, seem like the only ways to cope.

A positive problem orientation creates a positive emotional climate for effectively and creatively coping with stress (D'Zurrilla, 1990). To improve your ability to solve problems, try to develop the following characteristics:

2. Develop an Ability to See Problems as Challenges. All problems have both negative and positive elements (Schwartz & Weinberger, 1980). If we focus on the negative, threatening elements, our emotional state will tend to be negative; focusing on potential benefits will decrease distress and enhance our problem-solving ability. With a positive problem orientation you not only see the glass as half full instead of half empty, but you think "Aha! Now there is room for some ice cubes!" People with a positive problem orientation can find opportunities for personal growth or benefit. They believe it is better to try to solve the problem, even if the solution is unsuccessful, than not to try at all.

3. Strengthen Your Belief in Your Ability to Solve Problems. You are more likely to find an answer if you think you can. People with a positive problem orientation will be encouraged to search creatively for solutions. They will also understand that even when solutions cannot be found, the problem-solving process is still valuable because it reduces stress and helps them see the problem in a better light.

4. Understand and Accept the Fact That Solving Problems Takes Time and Effort. Commitment and persistance are vital for increasing your stress resistance and for successful problem solving.

It's easier to engage in effective problem solving when you're feeling good; feeling stressed and overwhelmed inhibits your problem-solving ability. Even when there are problems at hand, you can at least approach them at a point in your day when you are apt to be most alert-after some sort of enjoyable break, maybe after your daily workout when you are feeling invigorated and as emotionally distant as possible from the problem you wish to solve, or after you have talked the problem over with a good friend.

There are several ways to approach problem solving (Black, & Frauenknecht, 1990; D'Zurrilla, 1990; McKay et al., 1981; Ostell, 1991) but they all involve four basic steps: (1) define the problem and your response to it, (2) brainstorm possible solutions, (3) evaluate your options and select your solution, and (4) implement and evaluate your solution. It should be no surprise that the best way to improve your ability to solve problems is to practice solving problems. Think about some of the problems you have been having and select one or two to work through as you read this section. (The process that follows has been drawn from the work of D'Zurrilla, 1986, 1990, 1992, and McKay et al., 1981).

Approaching a problem objectively is often difficult because every problem is in herently a mix of the situation and the perceptions we bring to it. When attempting to define and solve a problem, we need to sort out which parts of the problem arise from the situation and which parts involve our perception of the situation and our role in it.

When confronting a problem, we appraise it; we decide what it means. Take, for example, an upcoming deadline for a school assignment or project at work. We examine the project to evaluate the demands being placed on us. We look for potential problems. Is there enough information available on this topic? Will there be enough time to do a good job? We also look for possible benefits: can I use some of the research material I collected for a related project? Will it be possible to arrange an interview with a person I would like to work with this summer? Can I study something interesting? Then we evaluate our options for preventing or handling potential difficulties and improving possible benefits. A given project might be appraised in many different ways. To some, it might be just part of the routine. To others, the project might provide attractive opportunities and be perceived as a challenge. But if this project looks daunting, and we are unsure that our abilities can cope with the project's demands, we feel stressed. As an interesting note, some research suggests that the way we view potential problems and our abilities to solve them are more closely related to how stressed we feel than our actual ability to solve problems (D'Zurrilla & Sheedy, 1991).

Sometimes a lack of information is the source of stress. A project becomes less stressful when you ask your teacher or boss to clarify the project's requirements. If you are not sure you are on the right track, run your ideas by the teacher or supervisor and get some help in planning your direction.

Problems must be solvable. In real life, some problems may be very big-divorce, starting college, career change, or the birth of a child. Solving something as big as a major career change can seem overwhelming, but even the biggest problems can be reduced to a series of smaller problems for which we can find solutions. Let's say you feel stressed about starting college. Smaller problems that are a component of this big problem might be difficulty meeting new people, trouble deciding what courses to take, and not knowing how to deal with new financial concerns. As you select problems to practice with, start with the ones that are of a manageable size and that you feel you can find some solutions for.

Defining the problem involves describing the details of the problem situation, defining your response to the problem, defining specific goals, and reappraising the problem. Are you ready?

Begin by describing the problem. What happens? Where and when does it occur? Who is involved?

Now describe your role in the problem situation. What do you do and how do you feel?

What are your problem-solving goals? How do want this situation, or your response to it, to change so that it is no longer a problem?

Now that you have spent some time thinking about and describing the problem, have you learned anything new? Use the information you have written and your new insights to complete the following statements:

Let's take a look at how Jason might have benefited from the problem-solving process presented in his stress management program.

Begin by describing the problem. What happens? Where and when does it occur? Who is involved?

I feel stressed almost all the time. There's too much to do in in too little time. I'm I am keep up. I can't relax anymore, and I feel like I'll be this busy forever. Really, the only time I don't feel quite so stressed is when I am doing my work. Otherwise, the feeling is with me all the time and everywhere: in my room, when I'm trying to sleep at night, in my classes, even when I am with friends or at a party. All that work is always nagging at the back of my mind. Who is involved ? Mostly me, but 1 get some pressure from my parents - they've always wanted me to be a lawyer. My girlfriend have been arguing a lot lately, and that just me feel worse.

I've got too much going on. I'm trying 1-0 graduate in three years so I can save money. I have to get good grades and get into a good law school so 1 can get a good job. I've got at lot of pressure on me to do well.

Now describe your role in the problem situation. What do you do and how do you feel?

I study all the time to gain some control over all this work. But sometimes I waste study time worrying about the future or going over the same stuff again because I'm having trouble concentrating. I feel anxious and worried that I'm not doing enough. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm even doing the right thing, wanting to be a lawyer. I worry I'm not cut out for all this hard work. But I've come this far and I hate to think I've wasted all this time. Mostly I'm too busy to stop and think about it. I just worry. I think I've forgotten how to relax.

What are your problem-solving goals? How do want this situation, or your response to it, to change so that it is no longer a problem?

I'm afraid I'm doing the wrong thing. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am or what I want anymore. I used to always feel certain about everything. I also feel like this constant stress is bad for me. My dad had at heart attack when he was 55 and he says that stress did it.

Opportunities? I guess this questioning could be good for me-strenghten my resolve, help me understand myself better. I know my educational experience is an opportunity. I'm learning lot. I wish I had more time to enjoy my classes. I suppose also learning how to organize my time, although I think I could do better with this.

Part of me says I'm too busy to spend time on this problem, but part of me thinks I'd better do something soon so it doesn't get worse. I can't keep living this way forever.

Here's a chance to be creative. Most of us solve problems by quickly evaluating a few obvious alternatives without stopping to consider a wider range of possibilities. After you have described the problem, your response, and your goals, take some time to write down any and all possible solutions that pop into your mind and might help you achieve your goals for the situation. Suspend judgment. You will evaluate these alternatives later. Brainstorming means giving free rein to the creative part of your brain. Let the images and ideas flow. An idea that seems crazy may stimulate a solution that works. Ask yourself how other people would cope with this situation. What would a friend of the opposite gender do? What would your mother do? How would you solve this problem if you were 80 years old? An army general? A millionaire? Could more information be helpful? Include on your list ways you will gather more information. The more ideas you get, the better. Don't stop writing until you have a very long list.

Take a break. Then read your list. Any new ideas? Can you improve on any of the ones already written? The alternatives you have come up with should be general ones. Leave the specific plan until later. Logical thinking interferes with brainstorming.

Now you can be logical while trying to maintain some creativity. Examine the consequences of the various alternatives listed. Consider effectiveness in resolving the problem-how you would feel about the solution. Ask whether each solution would feel right to you. You may wish to begin by crossing out solutions that are clearly unreasonable to you, either because they are impossible or too risky. Mull over the remaining strategies and combine strategies when possible. Then pick three that seem most promising. Evaluate the positive and negative consequences that might result from each solution. Consider the effects each strategy would have on your life, the people in your life, and your relationships with them. Think about both short- and long-term effects.

Here are some of Jason's alternatives for his first goal, which was "Feel more in control and less worried, feel more sure of myself."

Jason decided it was time to face the big questions that appeared to be the true source of his anxiety: Did he really want to be a lawyer? If so, might there be a better and less hectic way to prepare for this career? After completing the problemsolving process, he decided to get some advice from the career counselor and attend the time management classes before speaking to his parents. He was pleased to find that the time management classes helped him to define his lifetime goals and did not simply suggest that he squeeze more work into less time. Jason also added some of his relaxation alternatives to his schedule. Although his alternatives took some time away from his studying and he was still very busy, he began to feel more sure of his direction and less anxious.

Without this step, the problem-solving process only creates more stress. One way to put your solutions into action is to list specific, concrete steps you will take to put your solutions into action. For the alternative "Ask a career counselor for some advice," action steps might be these:

1. Ask whether any of my friends have done this and if so, do they recommend a particular counselor.

Many alternatives are more difficult than this to implement. Let's say you have decided to try to make some new friends. What would be some specific activities you could do to make friends? Possibilities might include these:

2. Make a list of people I know but would like to know better. Invite some of them to do something with me:

Call Karen this evening and invite her to have lunch with me sometime this week.

Solution implementation also involves monitoring and evaluating the success of your problem solving. Keeping some sort of journal is often helpful when you are dealing with especially difficult problems. You might use worksheets, such as the ones in this chapter, and then keep notes on the effectiveness of your solutions. If your solutions are not working or you are having too much difficulty implementing them, go back to the beginning. Redefine the problem, brainstorm some more, and try some new alternatives.

What if nothing works? Some problems are just too big for an individual to resolve them alone. Professional guidance can be enormously helpful in such situations. A therapist or other counselor may be able to help you generate more solutions to try, or at least give you some direction in reappraising the situation and feeling better about it.

STRESS AND YOU

PROBLEM-SOLVING WORKSHEETS

Problem Description

Begin by describing the problem. What happens? Where and when does it occur? Who is involved?

Why does it happen?

Now describe your role in the problem situation. What do you do and how do you feel?

What are your problem-solving goals? How do want this situation, or your response to it, to change so that it is no longer a problem?

How is this problem a threat? What are you afraid of?

What are the opportunities?

How much time and effort are you willing to commit to solving this problem?

The real problem is not ___________________________________

The real problem is ______________________________________

When you are ready, select two of your problem-solving goals from above and brainstorm possible solutions that will help you reach those goals. Please refer to the more complete directions given earlier in this chapter for more information.

Possible Solutions

Goal A. ______________________________________________

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________

6. ___________________________________________________

7. ___________________________________________________

8. ___________________________________________________

9. ___________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________

Goal B. ______________________________________________

1. ___________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________

6. ___________________________________________________

7. ___________________________________________________

8. ___________________________________________________

9. ___________________________________________________

10. ___________________________________________________

Evaluating Alternatives

Select the three alternatives you feel would be most helpful and look at the pros and cons to come up with your final plan of action.

Alternative 1: __________________________________________

Pros Cons

_____________________ ______________________

Alternative 2: __________________________________________

Pros Cons

_____________________ ______________________

Alternative 3: __________________________________________

Pros Cons

_____________________ ______________________

Final Action Plan

Now describe your final action plan, and how you will implement and evaluate your solution (s):

__________________________________________________

Most readers are familiar with the serenity prayer. It embodies some of the best possible stress management and problem-solving advice: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Successful coping with stressful events requires the ability to deal simultaneously with the emotional discomfort induced by stress (find serenity) and effectively with the sources of stress. Attempting change takes courage, because truly effective coping often involves delaying immediate gratification for more meaningful rewards in the future (Peck, 1978; Rosenbaum, 1989). It also requires taking risks, trying out new behaviors, and breaking out of your habitual routines (Adams, 1986). Habits are very comfortable and protective; without them daily life would be a constant chaotic struggle. But your environment is constantly changing, and change requires creative adaptation. Your habitual responses may not work. For example, the way you coped with assignments in high school may not be effective for handling a college workload. A nonassertive coping style might work while you are a student but make you an ineffective manager. Habitual patterns reduce risk and ambiguity; they help you feel secure. You know what to expect, even if the outcome is not what you want. Creativity and change require a leap into the unknown and attitudes that enable you to tolerate a certain amount of risk and ambiguity. When you try a new way of solving a problem, you do not know how well it will work. But such is life. And such is stress management. The answers are not always easy.

Problem-solving practice will help you get to know yourself better as you become more effective at coping directly with sources of stress. Students often find that the greatest change in their problem-solving ability is the way they describe and appraise problems. Before learning problem-solving techniques, many of them tend to jump right into brainstorming solutions, attempting to solve their first impression of the problem. Stress management students grow to understand that time spent defining and understanding the problem and their role in it pay an enormous dividend. It helps them cultivate the wisdom to know the difference.

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Coping Strategies and Problem Solving