Stress? It Depends on Your Point of View

When a given event, thought, or situation is perceived by you to be stressful, a stress response occurs; perception is the link between stressors and your stress response. In this section you will take a closer look at the way you perceive yourself and the world, and at how these perceptions influence the nature of your own personal stress cycle. You can reduce feelings of stress by examining the way you appraise potential stressors and your abilities to cope effectively with them. The stress management techniques presented in this chapter are types of cognitive intervention-ways to change your stress response by changing the way you think about stress and stressors. Cognitive intervention techniques have been shown to be very effective stress reducers in a variety of population groups (Banken & Mahone, 1991; Castonguay, Goldfried, Wiser, Raue, & Hayes, 1996; Cheung, 1996; Craske, Maidenberg, & Bystritsky, 1995; Deffenbacher, Lynch, Oetting, & Kemper, 1996; Epstein, Baucom, & Rankin, 1993; Forman, 1990; Gidron & Davidson, 1996; Hellman, Budd, Borysenko, McClelland, & Benson, 1990; Hillenberg & Collins, 1986; Maes, 1987; Woods, 1991; Zionts, 1990).

Perception refers to your awareness and understanding of things. People behave as though their perceptions are reality, but in truth we usually perceive an incomplete and often somewhat inaccurate picture of events around us. The perception of a given event varies from person to person and is influenced by many factors (Chang, 1996; Lee, Hallahan, & Herzog, 1996). Consider the following example: people walking by a professor and student who are having a serious discussion. One student observer cringes and thinks, "Oh, she is really getting nailed by that professor! I wonder what she did wrong." A second student envies the involvement he perceives to be taking place and thinks, "I wish I could get into meaningful discussions with my professors. They never even give me the time of day!"

    Children rarely question the veracity of their perceptions. As people get older, they begin to understand that they may misunderstand. It is a sign of maturity to question the accuracy and completeness of your perceptions, to look for more supporting evidence before deciding a perception is indeed true, and to avoid jumping to conclusions.

PERCEPTION AND STRESS

In this section, we enter the domain of the stress response. Your perception of a given stressor is the first step in this response. While some events, such as the death of a loved one, are almost universally perceived to be stressful, most of the stressors that occur in daily life vary in their stress impact depending upon how you perceive them. Can't find the book you need in the library? On a scale of I to 10, how stressful is this? On a bad day it may be at least an 8, or even the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. On a good day you might give it a 1, shrug it off, and look for a different source. What happened the last time you spilled your drink all over the table? Did you perceive it to be something awful that should never happen, rant and rave, and get bent out of shape? Or did you remember that these things happen in the best of families, sigh, wipe up the mess, and soon forget it ever happened?

    Take a look at the stress log you kept for Chapter 4. How did your perceptions affect your stress response? Were any stressors blown out of proportion? Were any created by a misunderstanding? Did you ever consciously adjust your perceptions to feel better and cope more effectively with stress? We attribute stress to particular situations and events. We say "That made me angry." "It scared me to death." The implication is that our feelings are directly caused by stressors. In the Student Stress example on the next page, Mark might think that the students whispering in the hallway caused his irritation, frustration, and anger. But in truth, Mark's perception of that stressor is the important link between the stressor and his stress response. As psychologist Paul Woods puts it, "A flat tire does not upset your stomach" (Woods, 1987). It is the perception that a flat tire is a problem that upsets your stomach. Adam's perception of the late night conversation did not trigger a full-blown stress response. By perceiving the situation in a less threatening way, he cut the connection. The whispering students became a minor source of irritation, easily dealt with. In fact, as Adam remembered his own whispered conversations in late night hallways, the situation even had some pleasant associations for him.

PERCEPTION AND STRESS RESISTANCE

Your perception of a stressor determines not only whether a stress response will result but also whether that stress response will be harmful to your health. Remember from Chapter 2 that if you perceive a stressor as something over which you have no control and believe it will probably have negative consequences, your stress response is likely to be physiologically more harmful than a stress response that gears you up for a positive challenge (Dienstbier, 1991; Vogel, 1985). As you evaluate, or appraise, a potential stressor, your thoughts, feelings, and even your physical stress response interact with one another. Negative thoughts cause painful emotions that cause tight muscles that cause more negative thoughts, painful emotions, and more physical discomfort. This cycle can lead to a Pandora's box of stress-related physical and psychological symptoms (Davis, Eshelman, & McKay, 1995; Jacobsen & Butler, 1996; Kabat-Zinn, 1990).

    The way you appraise potential stressors and perceive reality determine to a large extent how happy you are. Remember from Chapter 11 that objective life circumstances have very little to do with subjective well-being (Diener & Diener, 1996; Lykken & Tellegen, 1996; Zika & Chamberlain, 1987). Rather, it is largely your point of view, the way in which you perceive the world and your place in it, that creates your degree of satisfaction. If you perceive yourself to be about where you should be, you will tend to feel satisfied. If you long to be somewhere or someone else, you will feel dissatisfied.

    Your perception habits are also the basis of the attitude you reflect to people around you. The attitudes you project influence how others respond to you. If you continually find good reasons to feel angry and hostile, you will push others away, except perhaps other angry people. Over time you will find more unfairness and material for more anger and hostility.

REALITY CHECK: AVOID MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS

An inappropriate stress response often results from inaccurate perceptions regarding the nature of the stressor or your abilities to deal with it. The most common example of the creation of stress by inaccurate perceptions occurs so frequently that there is a cliche for it: making a mountain out of a molehill. Psychologist Albert Ellis has called it "awfulizing" or "catastrophizing" (Ellis, 1975). You awfulize when you tell yourself a situation is overwhelming or too much to bear. Mark's response to the hallway whispers is an example of awfulizing. He perceived that it was awful for the students to be whispering after quiet hours and that it would make him flunk out of school. How much of this was inherent in the stressor itself? Not much. But Mark's awfulizing turned the event into a source of serious stress.

    Most of us awfulize from time to time. A low mark on an assignment means we will flunk the class, graduate (if we don't flunk out first) with a low grade point average, never get into the graduate program or career of our choice, alienate our parents, and spend the rest of our life flipping burgers at the fast food restaurant around the corner. Panic ensues. Usually, however, we correct our thinking momentarily and adopt a more pragmatic and rational perspective: the low mark means we don't understand some of the material and need to do some more studying or get some help. We discuss the problem with friends, maybe even the professor; often find out that half the class got low marks; laugh at our silly awfulizing thoughts; and devise a positive way to cope with the problem.

SELECTIVE ABSTRACTION: WHAT YOU SEEK YOU SHALL FIND

Danger arises when negative perception develops into a way of life. A negative outlook dramatically decreases stress resistance and often leads to feelings of chronic stress and the development of stress-related illness. Chronic depression, anxiety, and anger develop when a person tends to perceive events in ways that strengthen such feelings (Butterfield & LeClair, 1988; Rich & Bonner, 1987). Aaron Beck, a psychologist who has written extensively about cognitive therapy (using cognitive intervention techniques in a clinical psychotherapy setting), has referred to certain types of negative perception as selective abstraction (Beck, 1970). Selective abstraction means focusing on certain characteristics in the environment while overlooking others. Some refer to this kind of perception as tunnel vision (Davis et al., 1995). People who are chronically angry tend to focus on the unacceptable behavior of others and look for someone to blame when they find situations unfair or not as they "should be." Anxious people have a habit of anticipating problems and worrying that things will not go well. Depression can result from dwelling on what is not going well combined with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.

HABITUAL PERCEPTION: YOUR AUTOMATIC PILOT

Cognitive intervention can help people improve their habitual way of viewing life. The first step is to become aware of habits of perception that may be causing stress by tuning in to your self- talk, also known as automatic thoughts. Both self-talk (Ellis, 1975) and automatic thoughts (Beck, 1970) refer to that commentary that runs in your head throughout the day. Some psychologists have called this commentary "mind chatter" (Gillespie & Bechtel, 1986). Mind chatter includes phrases, pictures, images, snatches of songs, and even complete sentences that you say to yourself. It runs the gamut from "I can't believe it's Thursday already!" and "The chocolate one looks good" to more emotionally laden images such as being buried in work, and phrases like "I can't handle this," "This job is killing me," and "I'll never make it through this day." Most of your self-talk is benign and is simply your interpretation of and reaction to what's going on. Stress- provoking thoughts are the ones to watch out for because they are associated with painful emotions and reduced stress resistance (Nutt-Williams & Hill, 1996). Automatic thoughts can be very destructive when they reinforce an interpretation of reality that fosters chronic anger, anxiety, or depression.

    Reality is relative; we each have our own unique way of seeing the world, of interpreting and judging events around us. We may understand this on a rational level, but we still operate on the assumption that our perceptions are an accurate representation of reality and forget that we may not be perceiving the whole picture. Psychologist Aaron Beck coined the term automatic thoughts to emphasize that our mind chatter is perceived as automatic, as though it is simply a response to the environment (Davis et al., 1995). In other words, we forget they are even our thoughts and take these perceptions as reality itself.

    Automatic thoughts can be hard to hear at first. They often appear as quick glimpses of phrases or images. Automatic thoughts connected with painful emotions often contain the words should, ought, or must, and usually reflect a judgment that something should be other than it is. The result: guilt, anger, disappointment. "I should spend more time studying." "The professor should be more understanding." "I should get paid more for this job." Destructive automatic thoughts tend to awfulize. The Tuning In exercise on the next page helps you see this.

    Automatic thoughts reflect your habitual way of viewing the world. You began learning to interpret reality when you were a baby from your family and caregivers, and later from friends, teachers, and other important people in your life. While your early learning to perceive reality may have happened in a rather random fashion, as an adult you have acquired a more rational outlook and you are able to perceive reality more clearly. Since automatic thoughts are learned, the good news is that they can change. You can identify and question harmful thoughts and replace them with more productive ones that improve the accuracy of your perception and increase your stress resistance. You can take your perception off "automatic pilot" and choose a more scenic and interesting route (Braiker, 1989; Mahoney, 1993).

The idea that reality is relative and that one's perceptions can be questioned is new to many students, and untangling the web of perception, reality, and emotion can be very difficult. In other words, don't worry if the Tuning In exercise is difficult for you. Here is an example to help you understand and apply the exercise in your own life.

    During study period for final exams, Sandra invited her boyfriend Elliot over for dinner. Theirs was still a fairly new relationship, and Sandra was anxious that the evening be enjoyable. Unfortunately, Elliot was feeling overloaded with schoolwork, was regretting his acceptance of Sandra's dinner invitation, and felt he should really stay home and study. Sandra was a straight A student and the work seemed to be easy for her. Elliot felt she would never understand his worries. However, he did not want to hurt her feelings, so he came reluctantly to dinner, his mind preoccupied with his work. Sandra had spent the entire afternoon cleaning her apartment, shopping for groceries, and preparing dinner. She couldn't understand why Elliot seemed so distant and self-absorbed. When she asked if everything was OK, he muttered something about all the work he had to do before next Friday; to Sandra, however, it sounded like he was making excuses rather than discussing a real problem. Sandra was disappointed and hurt when Elliot left shortly after dinner to return to his studies. Here is how she filled out the ABC exercise:

A. Stressor. Elliot came to dinner. He was extremely distant and cold, and he left early. He said he had schoolwork to do. I put a lot of energy into making a nice evening for us and he had a bad time. I wanted us to feel close and have fun.

C. Feelings and behavior. I'm angry, sad, and worried. I feel rejected and unloved. Since Elliot was acting so withdrawn, I didn't want to share my feelings with him, so I withdrew too. I have worried about this all day.

    At this point Sandra replayed the scene in her head and tried to capture her thoughts and pin down her perception of events.

B. Thoughts: Maybe he is getting tired of me. He doesn't like me. I'm losing him. I wish we felt close again. I must be doing something wrong. I must not be likable and attractive. Why do my relationships always end so quickly?

What do you think? How would you feel if you were Sandra? Certainly her disappointment is understandable. But is she getting the whole picture? What would you have done and thought differently? In the second part of this exercise you practice cognitive restructuring. What you restructure is your cognition, or thinking; you revise your perception of the stressor, or your abilities and resources, and in doing so alter your feelings and behavior as well (Matheny, Aycock, Pugh, Curlette, & Cannella, 1986). See exercises on page 262.

Exams are a common source of stress for most students. A little nervousness before an exam is fine; that's eustress that gets you aroused for a peak performance and opens the doors of your mind so the muse can visit. But some students experience such extreme distress before and during exams that it interferes with their ability to complete the exam. They get flustered, develop blocks, forget material, and generally lose their ability to concentrate. Exam time is a perfect occasion for awfulizing. The pressure is on, and students may overreact if perfect answers are not immediately forthcoming. If you find yourself doing more poorly on exams than you should given the good preparation you have done, listen in on your exam self-talk.

Some examples of negative self-talk are listed in the exercise on pages 264-265. See whether you can change them to more positive statements, and use these statements yourself the next time you are in an exam stress situation.

THOUGHT STOPPING

Some students find that a simple technique called thought stopping is helpful for stress- provoking, repetitive automatic thoughts. If you have identified certain negative thoughts that recur frequently, you might wish to try thought stopping. When you realize that you are slipping into an old familiar negative thought, simply say to yourself "STOP!" or "Stop this thought." Change the channel to a more positive station. You may be surprised at how much control you have over your thinking.

REACHING DEEPER: IRRATIONAL BELIEFS

You may have wondered, as you revised the fictitious thoughts in the exercises above, whether rewriting the script is just a Band-Aid job. The language sounds stilted and phony. It's textbook writing, not your own voice. Can rewriting the words really change your feelings? Yes. Maybe not right away. But simply replacing the negative words that lead to painful emotions with more positive and realistic words is a start, even if you don't quite yet believe what you are telling yourself (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 1981; Steinmetz, Blankenship, Brown, Hall, & Miller, 1980). After a while, you start to believe these thoughts. Cognitive restructuring starts to feel more natural. It gets easier to reframe reality, to see events in a more positive way; you feel less threatened by demands. Your stress resistance is increasing.

    As you observe your mind chatter, you will uncover patterns of automatic thoughts. Certain themes will emerge. For example, you may discover that you tend to put yourself down when things are not going well. Or perhaps you complain and think it is awful when you have to work hard. Thoughts that cause painful emotions often reflect underlying irrational beliefs (Ellis, 1975; Davis et al., 1995). An irrational belief is an unreasonable concept acquired from your upbringing or somewhere along the line. It is something you have assumed to be true but does in fact not really mesh with reality. Not all irrational beliefs cause stress. Those that do generally fall into two categories: (1) beliefs that the world or someone or something should be different from the way it, he, or she is, and (2) beliefs that one's perceptions are factual rather than subjective (Rorer, 1991). Irrational beliefs often reflect cultural stereotypes; they may be distortions of these stereotypes. For example, you may have absorbed the teaching that it is wrong to be selfish, that you should always put others first. Maybe your parents always put their needs on hold and kept their resentment bottled up; now you unconsciously do the same.

    When your irrational beliefs run up against reality, conflict results and you feel stressed. Consider perfectionists. If you believe everything you do must be perfect, you are sure to be disappointed. It is simply impossible to achieve perfection. If you believe less than perfect is equivalent to failure, you will be afraid to try anything new. Perfectionists often suffer from low self-esteem, since they feel worthless when they fail to achieve their impossible standards (Burns, 1980; Ferrari, Johnson, & McCown, 1995). Remember from Chapter 7 that fear of failure and other irrational beliefs are a common source of procrastination. The following is a list of common irrational beliefs.

1. It is an absolute necessity for an adult to have love and approval from peers, family, and friends.

2. You must be unfailingly competent and almost perfect in all you undertake.

3. Certain people are evil, wicked, and villainous, and should be punished.

4. It is horrible when people and things are not the way you would like them to be.

5. External events cause most human misery-people simply react as events trigger their emotions.

6. You should feel fear or anxiety about anything that is unknown, uncertain, or potentially dangerous.

7. It is easier to avoid than to face difficulties and responsibilities.

8. The past has a lot to do with determining the present.

9. Happiness can be achieved by inaction, passivity, and endless leisure.

10. You are helpless and have no control over what you experience or feel.

11. People are fragile and should never be hurt.

12. Good relationships are based on mutual sacrifice and a focus on giving.

13. If you don't go to great lengths to please others, they will abandon or reject you.

14. When people disapprove of you, it invariably means you are wrong or bad.

15. Happiness, pleasure, and fulfillment can only occur in the presence of others, and being alone is horrible.

16. There is a perfect love, a perfect relationship.

17. You shouldn't have to feel pain; you are entitled to a good life.

18. Your worth as a person depends on how much you achieve and produce.

19. Anger is automatically bad and destructive.

20. It is bad or wrong to be selfish. (Davis, Eshelman, & McKay, 1995. Reprinted with permission by New Harbinger Publications, Oakland, CA 94609)

    Do any strike a chord for you? Maybe you have some that are not listed here. Remember, you are concerned here with beliefs that increase feelings of stress and may be associated with automatic thoughts. You may never have verbalized these thoughts before, but some of these irrational beliefs may be subconscious guiding forces. Many studies have documented the link between irrational beliefs and feelings of stress (Bonner & Rich, 1991; Butterfield & LeClair, 1988; Hart, Turner, Hittner, Cardozo, & Paras, 1991; Rich & Bonner, 1987; Zingle & Anderson, 1990). People with more irrational beliefs see the glass as half empty, believing it should be full. They are more likely to appraise daily hassles as more stressful than do people with fewer irrational beliefs (Lazarus, 1991; Vestre & Burnis, 1987). People with irrational beliefs experience life in general as more stressful and have more negative emotions. Let's look at an example of how irrational beliefs lead to distorted perception and automatic thoughts that in turn trigger painful emotions and poor coping behavior.

    What's wrong with this picture? Take a look at Anna's self-talk. What are some of the irrational beliefs that seem to be causing stress for her? Anna is first of all distressed that things are not as they should be; it is horrible that things are not as she would like them to be. Instead of switching to a more positive gear, Anna continues to feel distressed as she focuses on how things should be but aren't. She also seems to feel that it is her job to step into the role of perfect hostess-that she must be entertaining and cheerful and shoulder the responsibility for cooking and cleaning up. Perhaps she is playing out some hostess stereotype, grudgingly doing her duty while resenting the burden of it all. And just to prove to herself that she has a right to be annoyed, she gives herself a headache.

    Fortunately, Anna is taking a stress management class, and before her jaw tension develops into an uncontrollable pounding tension headache, she takes a deep breath and examines her self- talk. "Wait a minute," she says. "Let's reframe this picture. David's visit is not giving me a headache. I am giving myself this headache by focusing on my disappointment. Let's replay this scene and find a more positive option." Anna takes a problem-solving approach and realizes that her irrational beliefs had dictated an option she would not enjoy: playing cheerful hostess, waiting on Justin and David. Remember from Chapter 5 that the most important part of solving problems is a positive problem orientation and a creative mind. Irrational beliefs limit your ability to see problems and your options clearly. Revise Anna's thinking in the following exercise.

CHALLENGING IRRATIONAL BELIEFS

When you are rewriting your self-talk script, it is also a good idea to try to uncover the underlying irrational beliefs that may have led you astray. Anna tries to write the irrational belief that was driving her in the wrong direction:

Irrational belief: It is the girlfriend's job to be the perfect, cheerful hostess when her boyfriend's friends drop in. She must not admit she is tired or ask for help. A good girlfriend will pull together a delicious home-cooked meal on the spur of the moment, set a beautiful table, clean up all the dishes, and make the whole production look easy and effortless.

    Once the irrational belief is pulled out of the psychic darkness, turned into a sentence or paragraph, and put down on paper, it may start to look a little silly in the light of day. The next step is to examine the belief with your rational mind. Ask yourself the following questions (Davis et al., 1995):

1. Is there any reason to think this belief is true?

2. What evidence suggests this belief might not be true?

3. What is the worst thing that could happen to me if I reject this belief?

4. What good things might happen if I reject this belief?

After you have examined the validity and consequences of the irrational belief, you can create a new belief to take the place of the irrational belief. Let's see how Anna followed this process.

1. Is there any reason to think this belief is true?
   Well, my mother was always a good hostess and made people feel welcome in our home. I think it is nice to make friends feel welcome.

2. What evidence suggests this belief might not be true?
   But I guess it is not necessarily true that I have to put on the perfect hostess act to make friends feel welcome in our home. I don't think it is really my 'Job" to magically pull together a meal, do all the cleanup, and make the whole thing look effortless. Anyway, it's not possible, especially on a Friday night after a long week of school and work!

3. What is the worst thing that could happen to me if I reject this belief?.
   Justin won't love me as much because I won't be the perfect girlfriend. Oops, this sounds like another irrational belief. What could really happen ... I think it would be worse to play the martyred girlfriend! If I don't play the perfect hostess, well, I might feel like a failure.

4. What good things might happen if I reject this belief?
   I won't mind having people visit. I'll enjoy Justin and our friends more. Justin won't assume I can always play the perfect hostess-he'll get a better sense of who I really am. He might as well find out now! We will work out ways to have friends over that don't mean I do all the work and then feel resentful or get tension headaches.

    Now Anna writes a new belief to take the place of her old irrational one. Compare the two.

Irrational belief: It is the girlfriend's job to be the perfect, cheerful hostess when her boyfriend's friends drop in. She must not admit she is tired or ask for help. A good girlfriend will pull together a delicious home-cooked meal on the spur of the moment, set a beautiful table, clean up all the dishes, and make the whole production look easy and effortless.

New belief: Justin and I want our friends to feel welcome in our home. A good girlfriend takes care of herself and her needs, as well as anticipating what will help everyone have fun together. People can get together and have fun even without a "perfect hostess" present!

    Questioning and changing your irrational beliefs can lead to a remarkable increase in your stress resistance (Matheny et al., 1986; Woods, 1991). If you use the Tuning In exercise on page 260 to examine at least one stressful event every day and then question the irrational beliefs behind it, you will probably experience a reduction in stress symptoms in about two or three weeks (Davis et al., 1995).

    Students sometimes worry that reframing events in a more positive fashion is artificial and phony. Some agree with Anna that David should call first. A few think Anna should let the men know that she is angry and make David go home. Some students feel that flexibility means compromising your beliefs and principles. We argue here that flexibility and compromise are essential for increasing your stress resistance. We also recommend choosing your battles; some principles should not be compromised. But a friend dropping in unannounced? Anna's initial disappointment is understandable, but she will only make herself miserable if she is unable to adjust her attitude. By all means let David know you would appreciate a call ahead next time. But given that David is going to stay for the evening, Anna needs to make the best of the situation.

    Cognitive restructuring should not turn into repression. Cognitive restructuring begins with acknowledging your thoughts and feelings, not denying them, but then examining them for irrational and stress-inducing content. Anna would not change her self-talk to say, "Fantastic! I am so happy to spend the evening with Justin and David! I will happily cook them dinner and play the gracious hostess! Aren't we lucky David stopped by!" At its best, cognitive restructuring is really self-observation that questions and subsequently short-circuits stress- producing beliefs and self-talk.

OPTIMISM AND STRESS RESISTANCE: WHAT YOU SEE Is WHAT You GET

So far we have discussed revising self-talk and underlying beliefs to bring them more into line with reality. But stress resistance improves even more when you can take the process one step further and use the cognitive restructuring process to create some rose-colored glasses with which to view the world. Studies have shown that stress-resistant people consciously develop the habit of perceiving potential stressors in ways that give life meaning and give them a sense of control (Ornstein, & Sobel, 1989). They look for reasons to be happy and satisfied with life, imperfect as it is.

    In some ways, the development of stress resistance is like the quest for happiness. What makes people happy? Money? Many rich people are miserably depressed. Good looks? Plenty of suicidal models. Getting a good job? Look at all the stressed-out "success stories." No, objective life circumstances do not define happiness. Perception does.

Questioning your irrational beliefs improves communication skills and increases stress resistance.

    If you look for injustice and horror, you can certainly find it. just turn on the evening news. War, famine, disease, and death are all around. Life is not fair. Every person experiences unwanted events such as illness, rejection, loss; things are often not the way "we want them to be." When we respond to stressors, whether major life events or daily hassles, with the perception "I can't stand it.... It shouldn't be.... It isn't fair," we are denying reality. Stress resistance (wisdom, too) begins with an acceptance that life has its share of problems. While we will do everything we can to solve the problems and cope effectively with the stressors that come our way, many of these problems cannot be changed. Sometimes the only thing we can change is our attitude, our point of view (Chapman, 1987). We can change ourselves so that we are more compassionate and loving toward ourselves and others. We can emphasize the positive aspects of our lives. We can look for meaning, beauty, love, and peace, and appreciate them when we find them (Barber, 1984). We can use our sense of humor to decrease anxiety. And maybe, with our courage and ability to weather the storms of stress, just maybe, we can even change the world.

SUMMARY

1. Perception is the link between stressors and your stress response. You can reduce feelings of stress by changing the way you appraise potential stressors and evaluate your abilities to cope effectively with them.

2. Cognitive intervention means changing your stress response by changing the way you think about stress and stressors.

3. While some events are almost universally perceived to be stressful, most of the stressors that occur in daily life vary in their stress impact, depending upon how you perceive them.

4. Your perception of a stressor determines not only whether a stress response will result but also whether that stress response will be harmful to your health. For example, if you perceive a stressor as something over which you have no control and believe it will probably have negative consequences, your stress response is likely to be more harmful physiologically than a stress response that gears you up for a positive challenge.

5. The way you appraise potential stressors and perceive reality determine to a large extent how happy you are.

6. "Awfulizing" or "catastrophizing" means perceiving a stressor to be much worse than it really is.

7. A negative outlook dramatically decreases stress resistance and often leads to feelings of chronic stress and the development of stress-related illness.

8. Selective abstraction means focusing on certain characteristics in the environment while overlooking others.

9. The terms self-talk, automatic thoughts, and mind chatter refer to the commentary that runs in your mind throughout the day. They include phrases, ideas, stories, pictures, images, snatches of songs, and so forth. People perceive their automatic thoughts as an accurate representation of reality.

10. Automatic thoughts that are connected with painful emotions often contain the words should, ought, or must and usually reflect a judgment that something should be other than it is.

11. Cognitive intervention techniques are based on the notion that you can identify and question harmful thoughts and stop them or replace them with more productive ones.

12. Thought stopping helps interrupt stress-provoking, repetitive automatic thoughts. When you become aware of a negative thought, simply say to yourself "STOP!" or "Stop this thought."

13. Irrational beliefs are unreasonable concepts that you hold to be true but in fact do not mesh with reality. Irrational beliefs that cause stress usually hold that (1) the world or someone or something should be different from the way it, he, or she is, or (2) one's perceptions are factual rather than subjective. They often reflect cultural stereotypes or may be distortions of these stereotypes.

14. Challenging and changing irrational beliefs can reduce negative self-talk and increase stress resistance.

15. Stress-resistant people consciously cultivate the habit of perceiving potential stressors in ways that give life meaning and themselves a sense of control. Cognitive restructuring techniques can be used to cultivate an optimistic outlook.

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